My Thought Process

My Busy Week (Wait, Did I Read That Right?)

2010-08-29T17:19:00.001-07:00

Okay, I'm about 10 minutes away from going to watch something called "8.5 Hours" (which sounds like an Irish dramatic version of the Office) with my folks. However, I've had such an eventful week, I can't help but at least post a summary blog of what I've been up to.

•Went to Toronto to visit my friend Lyz and go to the Jays - Yankees game
•walked about 8 km across Toronto, with my trusty camera in tow
•went to West Lorne to visit Harley Lashbrooke and pick up a copy of "West Elgin At War" which includes three photos of my grandfather
•visited the historical plaque,dedicated to Ellis Sifton, who won the Victoria Cross at Vimy Ridge and saw the tomb of Colonel Thomas Talbot
•went and visited my friend Nina at work
•went to Tillsonburg, by way of Beachville and Woodstock, with my friend Jason
•went to see "The Expendables"

Naturally there's more to tell about all of the above, but you can check out the photos from my trip to Toronto on Facebook, and I'll be writing up a review of the Expendables within the next day or so for posting here.

25 Things About Me

2010-08-22T07:27:00.001-07:00

Kelly recently posted a "25 Things About Me" list on Facebook. Since I already posted a similar list a couple of years ago (I'd dig up the link, but I basically wrote it as a way to hit on She Who Shall Not Be Named, so it's kinda painful to revisit. Go to my Facebook page and search for it if you're interested.), I decline to post another list there.

However, since I need something to write about here, I thought I'd take Kelly's list as a template for a further list.

P.S. I'd give you a link to Kelly's list on Facebook, but since I'm guessing a large percentage of the people who read this blog is Kelly, it's probably redundant.

1) I have no tattoos, but I do have an unformed third nipple.

2) My favorite show currently on the air is probably still the Office (although I think Community is going to give it a run for it's money); my favorite show ever is probably Saturday Night's Main Event.

3) I have a list of about two dozen DVDs I've purchased but never watched (or all of.)

4) The last DVD I bought was Ricky Steamboat: The Life Story of the Dragon.

5) My favorite movie ever is Gettysburg. The best movie I've ever seen is probably The Wrestler.

6) I usually read two books at a time, one to review for Shelf Life and another just for pleasure.

7) I am excited to go to Toronto on Tuesday, because I get to see Lyz and go to the Jays-Yankees game.

8) I'm not sure I want kids, but I'd like to be in a position where making a decision one way or the other was an option.

9) At work, I'm the guy my co-workers ask to look up stuff on Wikipedia. I'm guessing I will some day get in sh!t for that.

10) I have had to warn people about not making me talk about wrestling, because I'm pretty sure I could take a question like "Does Hulk Hogan still wrestle?" and talk for like an hour straight and include a discussion of the history of ECW, Wrestlemania IX's main event between Bret Hart and Yokozuna, and the current Roger Clemens steroid scandal.

11) I'm 41 years old and yet, I still kinda want to see the Smurfs movie when it comes out. (Although I was more excited when it was rumoured Quentin Tarantino was going to voice Brainy!)

12) My favorite book ever is Have A Nice Day by Mick Foley. A cliche I know, but he talked about so much of what I remember watching.

13) I worked in retail from 1991-2006 (with a few minor breaks in between) and so I think I'm always going to have a retail-mindset. In my current job, that sometimes can be a hinderence.

14) I don't know that I'd want to live in a big city. I kinda like living where I do know, where it's pretty quiet but it's just a 15 minute drive into London for groceries, book stores, Future Shop, etc.

15) I think when Kelly goes to Italy, I'm going to ask if I can tag along. For the most part, I'm more of a North American tourist.

16) I'm the opposite of Kelly in that the older I get, the less I really do for my birthday.

17) I would rather be completely gray than have the receeding hairline that I do. (I'm actually tempted to get my hair cut really, really short...like buzzcut short.).

18) Whenever I go into any store (variety/convenience store, grocery store, book store, etc.) I always check out the magazine section...usually for Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone, WWE Magazine, etc.

19) I am kind of on the fence, politically. I'm liberal in some ways, conservative in others. (I mean, we need to adapt new thinking and ways of doing things, but don't tear something down just for the sake of tearing it down.)

20) There's somebody in my past who I really can't like at this point but I still worry about.

21) I used to say "Interestingly enough" a lot but then a friend of mine called me on it, so I don't use it anymore. Interestling enough, however, I have a co-worker who says it all the time. (Not that it matters to me, but I'm like "Oh man, Jay would be making fun of her for that.)

22) Even though my job is far from perfect, I'm very proud to work in the industry I do.

23) One of the things I'm most proud of is the work I did at Your Village News. We weren't the New York Times or even the London Free Press, but I took a lot of pride in how much ambition and drive I had working there. Heck, if I ever resembled a work-a-holic, it was then.

24) I tend to latch on to a favourite food and then eat them until I'm sick of it. For example: for months, I used to get fish on Friday at the cafeteria every week...but lately, I'll be like "Ugh! Can't stand the thought of fish today." (Although I did have it this past Friday.)

25) I really wanted to have #25 be something impactful...but I couldn't think of anything...Honestly, I had about three things but none really won out!

My Weekend and Complications

2010-08-17T18:32:00.001-07:00

Think I can blog my weekend in about 10 minutes? Let's see.

Sadly, didn't do a heck of a lot, kinda got into a malaise/funk that's still kinda with me on Tuesday, although now it's just a case of feeling like crap, physically. I have a lot to accomplish in the latter half of the week, including the update for Shelf Life, a couple of articles for the Wrestling Press, and the beginnings of my photography course, plus whatever else work/life throws at me.

I'm heading to Toronto next week to visit Lyz and catch one of the Jays/Yankees games so I want to be caught up and physically/mentally feeling better by then.

The highlight of my weekend was going to see the Other Guys, which was funny at times, but overall was a poorly written, badly acted blergh-worthy film. Definitely not recommended.

If anyone's followed over from Facebook, I must apologize for kinda misrepresenting my relationship status. I was changing my profile photo and was thinking of what else I could update. I've always wished I could write something like "Is there a status slightly below single?" To me, single sounds like it's a good thing, and a choice. Like "I'm single so that means I'm out playing the field and just checking out my options! I'm young, I'm hip and I'm single now until I narrow down the field!"

Most people who know me know I'm not single by choice. There's a part of me that believes I would be able to offer a lot to a significant other, but I haven't really been able to convince a lot of other people of that. But you didn't come here for another John Milner Pity Party, did you?

Anyways, when I saw the "It's Complicated" option, I decided to click on it as a lark, but then made it clear by my Facebook status that things weren't really all that complicated. I will admit, there's a part of me that's rather touched by the number of people who said they liked my new status...

At least I'm assuming you liked the part where it seemed I was in a relationship, not the complicated part, right???

I kid.

Stars

2010-08-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

I went outside tonight, with the intent of trying to check out the meteor shower. I didn't see any meteor shower, but I did have a chance to just sit out under the stars for a few minutes. I think I need to do that more often. Even if it's just five or ten minutes, it's nice to step away from the keyboard once in a while.

I've gotten quite a bit done over the last couple of days. I hope to keep up the momentum over the weekend.

One more day 'til then, of course. Meanwhile, I'll relax and end my day with TNA's "Whole F'N Show" as RVD defends against Abyss. I kinda know the end result of the match, but I don't know how they get there. The Motor City Machine Guns just defeated Beer Money, Inc. in a match that could have been a lot better if it didn't feel so rushed. (Three falls in about ten minutes, including commercial.)

No, Really, I Talk About More Than Wrestling Here!

2010-08-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

Short update today since I just found out that WWE 24/7 has new material, including a new episode of WWE Prime Time, NWA Wrestling, WCCW and probably Raw and Nitro. I haven't checked whether they have any new "Big Events" but tonight I'm gonna check out Prime Time and NWA Wrestling.

I actually came home tonight and knocked off a couple of things from my To Do list, even going so far as to do some stuff from tomorrow. I started the Shelf Life update for August. (Almost forgot to give the link for the July update: http://shelflifemag.tripod.com/index.htm) I reviewed Arc of the Medicine Line: Mapping the World’s Longest Undefended Border across the Western Plain by Tony Rees. I read both Plan of Attack by Bob Woodward and Forgotten Patriots by Edwin G, Burrows.

As always, there's a couple of other things I would like to have gotten to, but since I'm a bit head of myself, maybe I'll tack those tasks on to tomorrow. For now, I think I'm going to relive some late 80s wrestling.

Okay, speaking of wrestling, on September 25th, it will be 25 years since I started watching wrestling. (Yeah, I know it's probably considered lame to (a) have a specific date picked out for the occassion and (b) mark the occassion in the first place.) Despite it being a Saturday, it's pretty pointless to invite people over to have a get-together to mark the occassion (as in watching some classic wrestling over refreshments, etc) since the people I know who watch wrestling number in the...well, single digits and not past 3 or 4.

However, as it happens, there is an independent wrestling show in the area that day. Hosted by Classic Championship Wrestling out of Tillsonburg, it is headlined by an appearance by TNA and Border City Wrestling star Petey Williams.

For more info, check out: http://www.classic-championship-wrestling.com/event_sept2510.html

But here's the issue: It's in Stratford!

And it's not like it's at the Stratford Memorial Civic Auditorium Arena Complex (or whatever it's called) where it'd be a case of drive to Stratford, park, walk into the Arena, watch Petey Williams and company, walk back to the truck and go home. It's being held as part of the Stratford Fair, meaning there will be many Stratfordonianites who will be in the vacinity who might otherwise not be willing to go anywhere near a wrestling show. And since I'm not making a quick run into the city, hunkering down in an arena and then leaving, there's a greater chance I might bump into Stratfordonianites I might otherwise not bump into...

See what I'm saying...

So...to quote the Clash, should I stay or should I go?

The End of the Office

2010-08-10T19:36:00.001-07:00

I just finished watching “Date Night” with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey and I’m only slightly saddened to say that I really enjoyed it. Why “slightly saddened”? Because the more successful a film career that Carrell has, the greater the odds that he won’t renege from his decision to leave the cast of “The Office” after this coming season. And when Carrell leaves, I’m of the opinion that the show itself should end.

There was a time when I might have argued that if Carrell’s Michael Scott left Dunder Mifflin-Scranton for greener pastures (like a job at Corporate or a relationship with the former HR Rep Holly), the cast of characters that inhabited The Office was strong enough to carry on. Certainly there was the opportunity to make Jim and Pam’s romantic storyline, the bizarre love triangle of Angela-Andy-Dwight and the on-again, off-again flirtation between Ryan and Kelly interesting enough to keep viewers tuned in, to say nothing of the quirky characters of Stanley, Phyllis, Creed, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith and Toby and Darryl and the warehouse crew.

I would go so far as to argue that there was a point in Season 2 where Michael Scott was pretty far down on my list of reasons for enjoying the show (behind Jim/Pam, Dwight, and depending on the episode, Kevin and the Accountants and even the drollness of Stanley).

However, somewhere along the way, Jim and Pam seemed to stop being all that important to the show. I understand they fell in love, got married and even had a child but save for these “big episodes” of their wedding and the first half of the birth of their child, they seemed to be fading to the outskirts of the show.

Dwight and, more and more, Andy were helping to bring the funny, but really the Office stopped being about “An American Workplace” and became being “The Steve Carrel Semi-Comedy Half-Hour”. And while there’s no doubt Carrell was always the star of the show, the Office lost that sense that it was an ensemble cast, with everyone, from Jim to Creed to Meredith being able to steal the odd scene from time to time. Heck, during the last couple of seasons, Kelly and Ryan are featured more in webisodes and seem to be on camera just to make what I can only assume are in-jokes that none of the rest of us are getting.

And while Carrell, with the aid of his co-stars, certainly carried the show during the early seasons, when the show began to be as Michael Scott-oriented as it did from Season 4 on, it got less and less funny. Instead of Michael being the driving force that ushered the rest of the cast into humourous situations (The Dundees, Beach Day, etc) Michael seemed to be going it alone, with the rest of the cast just there to shake their heads and look uncomfortable, often mirroring what the audience was feeling at home.

And the problem now becomes just how big a void Carrell will leave when he departs the show at teh end of this season. There are rumours abounding as to who will replace Michael Scott as the Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, everyone from Ricky Gervais (who created and played a similar role on the original British version of the Office) to Jenna Fischer (who plays Pam). My vote is...

NO ONE!

I believe that in trying to replace Michael Scott will seem like little more than a stop-gap manoeuvre, a ploy by the producers to keep the show going when everyone will realize it should have ended with Carrell’s departure.

Not that anyone even remotely related to the show would ever read this blog, but if I could give them some advice, it would be to start writing towards the end of the Office, let Michael be happy with Holly, let Pam and Jim leave Dunder Mifflin for more rewarding careers and a happy family life, make Ryan realize that he’s in love with Kelly (but in a funny way), let Andy and Erin be the goofy but cute couple they can be, let Stanley retire, let the rest of the cast do whatever looks best for them...

...and let Dwight and Angela be together so they can become dictators of a small island off the coast of Africa.

(Okay, that last one might be hard to do..but you never know.)

Face the facts that somewhere after Jim told Pam he was in love with her, the Office jumped the shark. (I could add something about the consequences of such actions in real life that tries to be funny but comes off as bitter here, but those who know will understand and those who don’t won’t ask for an explanation.)

The Office will go down as one of the best sitcoms in modern television history...but it already has become known, even by fans, as uneven and past its prime. Don’t make things any harder by trying to hold on (“That’s what she said!”) after the lead leaves...as they said when Ric Flair retired from WWE... “Leave the memories alone!”

...

P.S.

YES! Totally managed to get a "That's what she said" reference in there!!!!

Back from Vacation and Back To Blogging

2010-08-09T19:01:00.003-07:00

First day back to work after a week’s vacation and my first blog in about a month and a half. I promise to try and do better, but remember, I do better when I get comments. And when I say comments, I’m okay with words to the effect of “Dude, cool blog!” but not the slew of random words that these Spam bloggers seem intent on sending me.

Of course, while “Dude, cool blog!” from someone who can convince me they read my blog is nice, I’d prefer something more (for example: something I could actually create a blog posting out of responding to.)

Okay, I guess if I want people to comment on my blog, I better produce some content, right?

For some reason, what I ate during my week off was of great interest to some of my co-workers. I don’t know, eating pizza from the local pizzeria, Lunchables snack packs, bagels and cream cheese and some unhealthy junkfood thrown in, doesn’t seem all that interesting to me.

Of course, the fact that my big excitement of the week was finally signing up for WWE 24/7. (And yes, I fully understand that, to many, what I watched on the channel is probably about as interesting as what I ate!) I spent the majority of my week off revisiting ECW, AWA, NWA and WCW, not to mention WWE cards from 1984 thru the late 80s, mid-90s and even the 2010 Elimination Chamber. I got to see the NWA gear up for the 1987 Great American Bash, ECW just after its first pay-per-view “Barely Legal”, and best of all, got to watch Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby “the Brain” Heenan host an edition of Prime Time Wrestling from 1988.

Monsoon: You’d sell your own mother, wouldn’t you?
Heenan: I’ll throw in an uncle.

(Probably doesn’t translate well to the printed word.)

As we gear up towards my 25th Anniversary of Wrestling, I may start to do recaps of the various shows on my other blog (which I also need to get updating more) which is available at: http://25yearsofwrestling.blogspot.com/

And while I probably spent way too much time in front of the TV (or the laptop), I did tear myself away to do some reading, polishing off Battlestar Galactica by Jeffrey A. Carver in approximately 24 hours. I was channelling my inner Kelly there, although it didn’t hurt that I was a huge fan of the original series. Reading the novel kinda makes me want to check out this re-envisioning of BSG. (Yeah, I know, great timing since the series is over.)

On Sunday morning, I went up to the local variety store to get a couple of provisions and realized it was too nice a day to spend it all inside. (It would rain later, but it was sunny and rather muggy in the morning.) So I went hope, dropped off the groceries, grabbed my camera and took a couple of photos down by the river and will post one of my favourites here.

One thing that sucked is that on Sunday, my trusty IPod gave up the ghost. Luckily, I had a gift card from Best Buy, so I picked up a new MP3 Player today. I’ll be using it mostly for music, but it has has the ability to store and display photos, video and even text, so that’s pretty cool.

Okay, for those bored with reading about WWE 24/7, my week off or my new MP3 player, here’s a link that will help spice things up...Not sure how many of you have heard, but there’s rumours of an Eva Mendes sex tape making the rounds on the Net.

Well, apparently Ms. Mendes, rather than denying it or being embarrassed by the existence of said tape, actually filmed a video introducing the sex tape. Now, normally, I’m not the type of guy who will post links about sex tapes, but I just respect Eva for being so brave as to introduce her own sex tape that I have to post this...http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0a4d42beff/eva-mendes-sex-tape

Mendes is in the new comedy, The Other Guys, which I hope to check out this weekend. There’s been talk of going to see The Expendables as part of a “Guys Night Out”. If that doesn’t happen, I may make it a Double Feature on Saturday or Sunday. I also want to see “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” making that three movies coming out that I’d like to see. And considering there was a pretty long drought of good movies I’d really want to see, it’s nice to see an upswing in interesting movies.

JM's Soundtrack

2010-06-30T18:36:00.001-07:00

I'm stealing this idea from my buddy, Jay's blog: (http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=62564082)

Top 10 Songs I'm Listening To These Days (in no particular order)

1.Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
2.Broken by Fireball Ministry
3.Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos
4.I Made It by Kevin Rudolf
5.Pipeline by Dick Dale and Stevie Ray Vaughn
6.Box of Rain by the Grateful Dead
7.Better Man by Pearl Jam
8.Master Blaster by Stevie Wonder
9.Ready to Go by Republik
10.Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva

Top 10 John Cusack Movies

2010-06-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

In honour of his birthday...

1 Grosse Point Blank

2 High Fidelity

3 Say Anything

4 Serendipity

5 Con Air

6 Better Off Dead

7 Hot Tub Time Machine

8 One Crazy Summer

9 2012

10 The Thin Red Line

How I Would Have Booked Bryan Danielson

2010-06-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

Damn You, WWE! You made me do this!

First you sign Bryan Danielson, darling of the indy wrestling scene, away from Ring of Honour and let him sit at home for the better part of six months. Then you create NXT seemingly as the best way to get him, now known as Daniel Bryan, over...only for he to be among the first guys cut.

Bryan's absence is only for a week or so, as he returns to NXT to fued with...announcer Michael Cole. Wow! There's a Wrestlemania Main Event for you! Maybe it could be a 1-hour Iron Man match.

So, the first season of NXT comes to an end and they announce...uh...somebody...as the winner (and not even Jennifer Hudson's fiance). So where do they go from here? On last week's Raw, all of the NXT contestants rushed the ring, taking out C.M. Punk and the Straight Edge Society as well as John Cena.

But they didn't stop there, attacking several members of the ringside officials and tearing up the ring area. In the aftermath of the segment, while some derided it as "NXT"-WO, most fans decided it was perhaps the best angle they'd seen in a while. I think because it felt very unexpected and there wasn't a "Okay, this will happen and then this will happen and then that will happen." The road from A to B didn't feel like it would be a straight line.

Amid the carnage, Daniel Bryan choked out ring announcer Justin Roberts, going so far as to use Roberts' own tie.

Apparently, Bryan crossed some sort of line with the attack. On Friday night, it was announced the WWE had released Daniel Bryan/Bryan Danielson. As one might expect, the Internet (or at least the wrestling fan portion) has gone 67 different versions of batsh!t, with half the posts I've read declaring it to be a complete work, expecting the other NXT competitors to be "future endeavoured" over the weekend as well, only to return to further vengeance this Monday. The other half, meanwhile, the half that believe that Danielson was released due to either Mattel or Linda McMahon's Senate campaign likening Danielson's attack to the Benoit tragedy of some years ago, gave the WWE a "thumbs down" at releasing Danielson just at the point where the NXT story was about to take off, especially for the reasons rumoured.

And so, with Danielson probably returning to Ring of Honour (or perhaps taking his chances in a Hogan/Bischoff-ruled TNA, where he'll end up being the Dean Malenko of 2010) it looks as if his run in WWE was, to steal a lyric from the Coldplay frontman he slightly resembles, "cursed missed opportunities".

And so, I'm going to don my "fantasy booker" cap and tell you how I think Bryan Danielson should have been booked by the WWE Powers-that-be.

(And for you whose groaning I hear...just remember, on Friday night I said you could avoid this if I got 3 or more comments on my blog. I got a big fat goose-egg so you got nobody to blame but yourselves.)

First of all, keep the name Bryan Danielson. (Sure, the average WWE mark won't know him but then we're not booking to appeal to them. They're too busy b!tching about Cena being champion.) Secondly, the first second they can put him on TV, do it.

His character wouldn't be rocket science. He'd be the darling of the indy circuit that smarks already knew him as. He could talk about travelling 100 miles to wrestle in front of 25 people for no money. The WWE could probably drop a few bucks to get some of the indy footage of Danielson and broadcast it during the vignettes shown during his early days in the organization, and put him over as a guy who loves what he does. Maybe he could even sit down and reminisce about wrestling on the indy circuit (maybe name drop some other indy wrestlers).

During his early matches, Danielson should be booked as a no-nonsense solid wrestler. Not a sports entertainer, a wrestler. I mentioned Dean Malenko earlier (in reference to him being a solid wrestler who would be misused in Hogan/Bischoff's TNA) and I think that's the gimmick he should go for (save getting more of a push than Malenko did). Maybe have him battle guys like Regal and Finlay in his early matches to show he can hang with those kind of guys.

At first I was thinking he should feud with C.M. Punk, prior to the Straight Edge Society. Have Punk say he's not impressed with Danielson's indy past, since he's got one of his own.

But I also think Danielson and either Swagger or even better Drew McIntyre would make for a good program. Think about it, McIntyre's storyline is that he's the one Mr. McMahon has groomed to be the next big thing. He never had to work the indies (although Drew Galloway did wrestle in the U.K. beginning in 2003) so that would make him feel he's superior to Danielson. It'd be the classic spoiled rich kid who gets where he is because of who he knows vs. the hard working up-and-comer, who's had to work his way to the top.

I think Jericho would have been a good opponent for Danielson. He has the same indy background as Danielson has, but he's established as one of the WWE's top stars now, and wouldn't want to have to share the spotlight with this new kid on the block. He could belittle Danielson's indy background doing the ol' "You travelled 100 miles? Well, I travelled 110 miles!" Jericho could then tell Danielson his past exploits don't mean anything and he's got to get past Y2J if he expects to succeed here in the WWE.

Just a few ideas. Anything had to be better than what the WWE did with Danielson.

Top 5 Coolest TV or Movie Characters of All Time

2010-06-14T15:41:00.001-07:00

Just a quick Top 5 list that popped into my head and I thought I'd share...

Top 5 Coolest TV or Movie Characters of All Time

1.Han Solo (Harrison Ford) - Star Wars Trilogy
2.John Milner (Paul LeMat) - American Grafitti
3.The Fonz (Henry Winkler) - Happy Days
4.Starbuck (Dirk Benedict) - The Original Battlestar Galactica
5.Ham Tyler (Michael Ironside) - The Original V

Agree....Disagree....Have your own top 5? Drop me a line!

A Weekend Blog - Post In Progress

2010-06-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I promised to update my blog this weekend and rather than just try and post one long blog about one particular topic (and my inability to do so as of late is the main reason why I haven't blogged in over a month), I figure I'll do a "Random Thoughts" blog about whatever pops into my mind over the weekend.

And rather than wait until Sunday night, I figure I'll update over the course of the weekend. A

So...without further adieu...adieau...So, let's start blogging, and what better way to kill the buzz than by discussing wrestling. I'm watching WWE Smackdown and, since every established star that even hints of being over, save Rey Mysterio and C.M. Punk is over on Raw, why try and push new stars (and yes, I know they've got Jack Swagger, but having Big Show humiliate him and jobbing him out to Rey in a non-title match does not a push make), let's show every single solitary second of the NXT Rookies kicking the crap out of John Cena, the Straight Edge Society and the ringside officials.

Okay, considering I thought NXT was just a really convaluted way of getting Daniel Bryan/Bryan Danielson over. I could never figure out the former ROH star being one of the first guys eliminated only to return to engage in a thrilling feud with...commentator Michael Cole? And now he's become the Mike Sanders of the 2010 Version of the Natural Born Thrillers. (And to illustrate just how forgettable that particular stable was, I had to search Wikipedia to get the right information to make that reference.)

Don't make me post a blog where I fantasy-book how I would have introduced Bryan. (Tell you what give me at least at least three comments on either my Vox or Blogger blog this weekend and I'll spare you the agony.)

Okay, on to other topics...

My folks were watching one of those PBS Pledge Drives shows where they were featuring groups from the late-50s, early 60s (Lou Christie's Lightning Strikes was one I remember seeing) and it occurs to me that my generation and the one that has come since won't really have that. I mean, I think in 2025, there will probably be 80s bands getting dragged out on stage to perform. I could foresee the Go-Gos, Duran Duran and A-Ha reuniting to play a PBS Pledge Drive or showing up at 80s Reunion concerts. (Speaking of which, I want to read Belinda Carlisle's book.)

However, do you really see a "All 90s Flashback Concert Series" featuring the surviving members of Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Korn coming out in their late-50s. I could however see some of the post-bubblegum pop one-hit wonders that showed up in the mid-90s do that.

CHECK BACK LATER THIS WEEKEND FOR MORE!

Predicting Wrestlemania XXVII

2010-05-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

I know this is probably the last thing you want to read out of my after it being so long between updates. However, my friend Jim/James/JSD from CSC/Jebodiah Dales asked me to make my predictions for Wrestlemania XXVII. Last summer, I did a similar prediction and had some fun doing that (even if I was WAYYYYY off) so here I am again.

This is a lot harder than you might think because you can't just sit down and think "Okay, who's feuding with who now?" In fact it's better to think "Okay, Orton and Edge are feuding so there's no way they'll meet at Wrestlemania. Every champion will no doubt be a former champion in a year, a few heels will be faces and vice versa. Some guys will get pushed, a few will have tumbled back to the mid-card and some new faces will show up (you'll no doubt see that below.)

So I guess store this away in your memory banks and feel free to come back in April 2011 and razz me about how far off I was.

WWE Championship - Edge vs. Chris Jericho

John Cena vs. The Undertaker

Mr. McMahon vs. Triple H - Atlanta Street Fight

World Heavyweight Championship - Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Rey Mysterio

United States Championship - John Morrison(c) vs. Ted Dibiase

Intercontinental Championship -The Big Show (c) vs. Christian

Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

Four Corner Battle of the Big Men - Kane vs. JTG vs. Luke Gallows vs. Ezekial Jackson

Randy Orton vs. C.M. Punk

Unifed Tag Team Championship - The Hart Dynasty (c) vs. Joe Hennig and Brett Dibiase

Money In the Bank - Daniel Bryan vs. MVP vs. Cody Rhodes vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

WWE Divas vs. WWE Women’s Championship Unification Match - Awesome Kong (Divas Champ) vs. Beth Pheonix (Women’s Champ)

A Returning Hodgepodge Blog

2010-04-26T17:59:00.000-07:00

Wow! Okay, it's been eleven days since my last blog posting. I would hope I have been missed and that many of you are weeping with pleasure upon my return.

Okay, weeping is probably pushing things, but I would hope that, upon seeing a new blog from yours truly, at least one or two of you might do a fist-pump and think "All right, Milner's back on blog duty!"

As for the reason for my "disappearance", well, I was stuck in Europe for several days due to that volcano...

Don't buy that?

I won $350 million in the U.S. Powerball lottery and was too busy buying DVDs to update?

No?

Vince McMahon called me about my resume and...

Okay, I think I've run out of humourous excuses and so the real excuse is that, despite having a few things I could have written about, I think I went through a bit of "Blog Burnout"!

Believe it or not, my social life got more exciting last weekend (not this one past, the one previous) when I travelled to Aylmer to the Brindley Household to celebrate the birthdays of Jodi Brindley, my college friend Chris Taylor and a friend of his (whose name I do not recall, save they nicknamed him Bulldog). It was a really fun afternoon highlighted by catching up a bit with Chris, reminiscing about our days in college, and a great BBQ hosted by Jim.

Save for that, there hasn't been too much to talk about. Basically, it's go to work and hang out around the house. And do you really think I can make that interesting day after day?

And so, without further adieu, I present a Hodgepodge Blog Entry...

I'm not sure how (perhaps it was Kelly's reference of the new A Nightmare on Elm Street - starring the guy who played Kelly in the 70s version of the Bad New Bears Movies...and was the voice of the younger son in Wait Til Your Father Gets Home) but somehow I decided to list all the horror movies I've seen.

Hmmm...I've seen...

A Nightmare On Elm Street: A New Nightmare
Copycat
Silence of the Lambs
Evil Dead
Army of Darkness
Dawn of the Dead (Original and Remake)
The Reaping
Poltergeist
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Zombieland
Jennifer's Body
The Craft
Cloverfield
Godzilla
Scream
Scream III
Heathers
Serial Mom

Okay, that's just off the top of my head. There may be more. Still, not bad for a guy who doesn't like watching horror movies. (I always feel for the victims' families.)

And for a guy who doesn't claim to know much about hockey (save for covering the Bulldogs and Lancers a couple of years ago and watching the Olympics), I'm not doing too bad in our office Stanley Cup pool. With four of the eight 1st round series complete, I am 3-1. Of course, that's only good enough for a six-way tie for first (of eight competitors). Still, I could have gone 0-4 and be dead last.

And, of course, what's a Milner Blog without a little wrestling (wait, there's non-wrestling stuff coming up later)...According to Pwinsider.com, the second issue of the new WWE comic features a terrorist group taking over WrestleMania, and both HHH and Chris Jericho being murdered.

And may I just say...

W

T

F

?????

Terrorists? Murder? Why not just have a storyline where Chris Benoit comes back from the dead to reveal he masterminded 9/11? Jeez, why not call that @ssh0le Phil Mushnick and give him a copy of the book? Man, it'll be his wet dream and for once, how do you argue that he's NOT making a mountain out of a molehill?

Yes, I understand that this is a comic the WWE has made little or no mention of on TV. I understand that McMahon is all about promoting "entertainment" and not wrestling. (Apparently TNA is to be mocked by Vince for doing that very thing.) I understand that other forms of entertainment have included terrorism and murder in their storylines.

But it's not like Maggie Gyllenhaal was really killed in the Dark Knight. It was her playing a fictional character...which technically, one could argue, Chris Irvine and Paul Levesque are doing the same thing, but it's different somehow. (Don't ask me how...just different.)

Okay, speaking of conversations with Kelly (what would I do without her?) we were discussing what fictional place we'd like to live or work?

Not sure where I'd want to live but my list of possible workplaces would include Dunder Mifflin, Corner Gas, WKRP and, as a last result, the Quik-Stop.

And so, I'll toss the question out to all...uhm...well, how many of you that read this blog. If you could work in any fictional workplace (from TV, movies, books, heck, even songs or video games, if such a reference exists), where would it be? Either leave your answers in the Comment section or email me at jmilnerresume@gmail.com

Sports and Conspiracies

2010-04-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

I know that normally, when one poll ends, another begins. However, I'm contemplating doing away with the polls altogether, and instead just concentrating on writing short posts to let all "my fans" know what I'm up to.

Although technically, isn't that what Twitter and Facebook is for? (Speaking of which, I should probably update those sometime soon...but what will I say?)

Anyways, since I'm here, I might as well write something, right? I'm starting composing this post while watching the Blue Jays - White Sox game, but will soon be switching over to back-to-back episodes of 30 Rock.

Onwe of the problem with sitting in front of the TV but using my aptop is that I tend to get more interested in what I'm reading or writing on than the ballgame. In fact, I forgot it was 1-0 Jays (Travis Snider homered) until I looked up, and by that time, another Jay (I forget who) just hit an RBI double to make it 2-0.

And speaking of sports, Hell has truly frozen over. What covering local hockey couldn't do and what watching the Olympics couldn't do, the possibility of winning a Stanley Cup pool in my office has: I am now following the Stanley Cup playoffs. The only problem is that, on the first night of the playoffs, all the teams I picked (and who played) lost. I did try and get at least one Canadian team (Vancouver) past the first round.

I still believe it will be a Red Wing-Penquin Stanley Cup. Check back in a few weeks to see if I'm right.

But while I'm semi-paying attention to sports, I find myself reading quite a bit more lately. When I returned from my trip to Baltimore, I found that Jesse Ventura's new book "American Conspiracies" had arrived from Amazon, so I've been reading that.

As someone as conspiracy-minded as me, the fact that a former wrestling personality has written a book talking about conspiracies behind everything from the assassination of Abraham Lincoln to 9/11 to the Stock Market Crash is right up my alley.

If I was reviewing this for Shelf Life, I'd probably give it 3 1/2 or 4 stars. When I described it to Kelly in my most recent e-mail, I described it as "a mixed bag as there are some chapters where he goes into great detail about the subject he's talking about, while for others (the assassination of Lincoln and Martin Luther King), he just kinda talks about what happened. I definitely think where the book kinda suffers is that for many chapters, a book could have been written, with all the different facts and theories. I would have liked to have read Jesse write a lot more about each of his subjects. However, with the space he has he writes about a lot of things I had never heard of before (there being two Oswalds, Sirhan perhaps being under hypnosis, MLK's son believing Ray wasn't the assassin)."

The cool thing is that for every subject you expect to be in there (JFK, RFK) there's two or three you don't (Watergate, Jonestown, a plot to overthrow FDR). And Jesse doesn't stop with conspiracies from decades gone by. He even talks about 9/11, the 2004 and 2008 elections, the Stock Market Crash (of 2008) and even a plot to end democracy in America. Your usual suspects (big business, Big Brother and the CIA) are here, and I wonder if Jesse should be concerned.

While he doesn't always make his point as clear as he should, Jesse never comes off as a crackpot. Instead, he presents his arguements, backs them up thoroughly and even talks about what he believes should happen next.

American Conspiracies is a scary book when you realize what people have done in the name of money and power, and what they've done to cover things up.

Booking Swagger

2010-04-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know most of my faithful readers don't like it when I talk wrestling on this blog. However, I was watching Smackdown the other night and a couple of things struck me, to the point where I want to discuss them some place, and here seems as good a place as any.

First of all, let me backtrack a little bit to tell you a personal story. While Smackdown may have aired on Friday night, it was taped on Tuesday. On Tuesday, as it happened, I was heading from Baltimore to London, by way of Chicago.

As it turns out, my arrival gate was on one side of the airport and the departure gate on the other, so I had to walk quite a ways with my carry-on luggage. (This piece of information becomes important later.)

Fast-forward to Friday night and imagine my suprise when it's announced that Smackdown was eminating from Chicago. I immediately began to wonder if I had just missed rubbing shoulders with a Smackdown superstar. I'm guessing probably not. I was walking through the airport at around 4:00 and the likes of CM Punk, Edge and Chris Jericho probably came in on an earlier flight.

And the Tuesday morning I spent with Kelly in Baltimore, having breakfast at Miss Shirley's (which I love so much, I want to take it out behind the Junior High and get it pregnant) and the book store near her apartment, is something I would certainly not trade for the opportunity to say "Oh my God, it's Dolph Ziggler!"

Still, it's kinda cool to think that, if someone like Drew McIntyre or John Morrison had taken a later flight, they might have been in that airport at the same time as me.

And now, on to Smackdown, which showed a replay of Monday Night Raw, where new World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger, went down to a clean defeat at the hands of Randy Orton (in a non-title match).

Way to go, WWE! Way to make your World Champion, a guy who is not really as over as someone holding the gold should be, look weak! Awesome! Great job, writer monkeys! Next time, why don't you get him to job cleanly to frickin' Hornswoggle in under a minute?

Okay, here's the thing: Jack Swagger, his well-pointed out speech impediment and all, has really come out of nowhere in the last month or so. Yeah, he's been with the Fed for a year or so now, but he was basically a Dolph Ziggler-like jobber-to-the-stars, more likely to get Batista-bombed in short order on Smackdown than even get a cheap win that makes his opponent look good.

He was, to me, basically an afterthought for the Money in The Bank Match at Wrestlemania. Instead, he goes out, wins the match, tries to cash in the next night and, a day later (or several days, depending on whether you count the Smackdown taping or the broadcast) rushes in, pins Jericho and wins the title.

Some pretty heady stuff for Swagger. In fact, one could argue (and I am going to, because, since this is my blog, I can) that the majority of the WWE fans still view Swagger as the guy who will job to Rey Mysterio and Edge and be a "pick 'em" against Kane and JTG.

In other words, Swagger is still seen as a mid-carder who someone managed to become World Champion. And while the wrestling savant that is Vince Russo may see wrestling titles as just "props", I maintain that your World Champion should the most over guy (heel, face or tweener status matters not) in your organization.

Swagger is not the most over guy on Smackdown. Hell, he could be conducting a backstage interview and not be the most over guy in the segment.

There have been some angles where a champion will sit back and let his challengers tear each other apart in "Number One Contender" matches, so he can swoop in and pick up the pieces. That's not what Swagger is doing here. Swagger is, unless I miss my guess, a placeholder champion. Someone who is babysitting the title in order to make the Jericho-Edge matches a little bit more interesting.

Hint, Hint: The Edge-Jericho matches are already interesting and would be even more interesting if they were for the title, rather than a shot at the title.

And for a guy to go from mid-card afterthought to placeholder World Champion in a matter of days is not doing Swagger, the title or Smackdown any favours. This is not to say that the whole situation can't be recovered. Look at JBL, who won the Smackdown title (with all the title switches between brand, I can't remember whether it was the WWE title or the World title), and used it as a way to elevate his game to the point where he became credible as the top man on the brand. Of course, JBL's character and experience made that possible.

And as much as I applaud the WWE for pushing Swagger (and other younger talent, i.e. Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, John Morrison, the Miz and CM Punk), Swagger didn't need the World title to elevate him. He had the Money in the Bank (MITB) title shot, which could have been used for the better part of a year to slowly elevate Swagger to the point where, when he finally cashed in his title shot, he would have been seen as a legitimate contender to the title.

In a way, the WWE was off to the right start, with Swagger claiming he was cashing in his MITB title shot on a fallen John Cena, on Raw the night after Wrestlemania. Swagger would, however, back out when Cena recovered.

And THAT is the modus operandi Swagger should have adapted. Perhaps not every week, but every now and again, when Cena or Jericho (or future champions) had been beaten up by an opponent, have Swagger rush in and attempt to cash in.

Meanwhile, even when the champion wasn't hurt, have Swagger lurking in the background. For example, imagine this scenario on Raw, where Cena has been talking with a guest host about his upcoming title match on pay-per-view. As he does so, have Swagger steal into the scene, smirk on his face and briefcase in hand, to remind Cena not to over-exert himself, since "maybe this Sunday is when I'll cash in my Money In the Bank Title Shot!"

Now I'm not going to suggest the threat of Swagger challenging Cena (or whomever) would be the deciding factor for fans when ordering a pay-per-view but it would add just a touch more suspense to the proceedings. And again, it would help to elevate Swagger to a position where, when he finally did cash in his title shot and if he were to become champion, he would be in a better position, in terms of being a believable champion, than he is now: a mid-carder turned transitional champion who just jobbed cleanly to Randy Orton and is waiting to see whether Jericho or Edge beats him for the title.

Top 10 Best Things About My Trip To Baltimore

2010-04-07T17:20:00.001-07:00

If you've been playing along at home, then you know that on April 1st, I flew down to Baltimore, by way of Chicago, to visit my friend Kelly Hager, to help her celebrate her 30th Birthday Week-And-A-Half.

Meeting Kelly after nearly a decade and a half of knowing her and corresponding on-line and hanging out with her and many of her friends was great. So great in fact, I want to list "The Top 10 Best Things About My Trip to Baltimore" (the fact that I used that for the title of this entry probably should have been your first clue).

And so, here we go (in no particular order):

1. Having Kelly's Mom Get Me (At Least Temporarily) Hooked on Survivor
2. Seeing Kelly's name in the Credits of Paranormal Activity
3. Playing Things, Scene It and Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture Edition
4. Going to See Hot Tub Time Machine
5. Bumping Into Two Guys from GDLS-C in the Baltimore Airport (and I think I saw a disguised Woody Allen)
6. Watching Just the 10 of Us episodes
7. Going for breakfast (twice) at Miss Shirley's
8. Seeing the Inner Harbour
9. Kelly introducing me to the gloriousness that is Chipotle
10. Eating and enjoying Sushi

Okay, I can't stop at 10, so let's continue...

11. Watching Up in the Air (and This Is It and Heathers)
12. Enjoying Jennifer's Body (Yes, Kelly, it's in writing, I enjoyed a pseudo-horror movie -although I agree it was more of a comedy)
13. Searching through Kelly's books (and wishing I could take twice as many home as I did)
14. Reading How To Steal A Car
15. Getting to Tour WJZ
16. Getting to See where Kelly sits when she e-mails me
17. Pretending to be a weatherman during the WJZ Tour
18. Going up on the roof of the station
19. That really good licorice I ended up eating most of (sorry, Kel!)
20. And last (for now) but certainly not least, hanging out with Kelly and her friends and...of course...SAM!!!

Baseball Is the Topic of This Week's Poll

2010-04-07T17:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, I figured most people could figure out how they knew me, but last week's poll results, what with the "0" votes in total, tell a different story. (Kelly gets a free pass because, quite rightly, there really wasn't a category for her.) Oh well...

For this week's poll, I've decided to go in a different direction. Since I'm watching the Jays and Rangers (first Jays game of the season for me) I decided to make this week's poll a baseball-related topic.

My top two picks are, of course, the League Champions from 2009. And rather than list every single Major League team, I'll just go by league. In other words, if you think the Tampa Bay Devil Rays will win the Series, use "An American League Team" as your pick.

Along the way, you might notice the 5th option and you get extra points if you get the reference.

I know that not everyone who reads this is a baseball fan (hence the 6th option) but I figure I can't do any worse with this topic than I did with last week's topic.

As always, make your picks and feel free to use the comment section for this posting if you wish to expand on or discuss your pick.

PLAY BALL!

Off To Baltimore

2010-03-31T15:43:00.000-07:00

A short update.

In twelve hours, I'll be on my way, via a United Airways jet, to Chicago. After a stopover in the Windy City, I'll be headed to Baltimore, MD. to visit my friend Kelly, to help her celebrate her 30th birthday.

I've never flown before and so I'm a little nervous about that. I'm more worried about whether I have all the right paperwork, whether my carry-on will count as a carry-on, how much hassle there will be going through customs and what other snags might pop up along the way.

Once I give Kelly a big hug in the airport, I'll feel a lot better. Of course, I'll still worry about how my folks and Cathy and Jack are doing back home, since I won't be around to lend a hand if need be. I'll cross my fingers that they have a good Easter weekend (or as good a one as we can have).

It's weird to be on the verge of meeting someone I've known for so many years, and yet have never seen face-to-face before. Kelly, for those who don't know her, has become my closest friend in the world. She's the person who knows me best...and yet still remains my friend. (Heheheh!)

I'll be back on April 6th, but probably won't blog, reply to e-mail, etc, until next Wednesday, but again, drop me a line so I can have something to read/reply to when I get back.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy Easter weekend.

Monday Night Update

2010-03-29T18:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, my readership is dropping off. I can’t believe, from a pretty lucrative question like “Who is the Greatest Rock and Roll Band Of All Time?” I get two (2) frickin’ votes. (The result was a tie between the Rolling Stones and Nirvana.) I figured that was a pretty easy thing to vote on. I figured even if people didn’t like the options I gave, I might hear about it in the comment section of my blog updates.

It’s not like I was asking something obscure like “Who was the greatest Intercontinental Champion of the 1980s?” Which come to think of it, I did ask, and I also got two votes for. So I guess the moral of the story is the readers of “My Thought Process” care just as much about pro wrestling from the 1980s as they do about great rock ‘n’roll bands.

See..what you’re supposed to do is comment and vote (preferably both) on the non-wrestling polls so that I assume if I ask non-wrestling questions, I’ll get a greater response. When I get the same response from a obscure wrestling-related question as I do from a general pop culture-related question, it makes me think “Okay, I can just toss any old wrasslin’ question up here!”

Of course, as you might have noticed, I didn’t go that way. I decided to make this week’s blog poll a little bit more personal. I figure all of you know me somehow if you’re here reading this, so your vote should be a no-brainer.

If you scroll down far enough, you will notice that I made a blog entry about this new poll. I’ve decided that, each week, I will create a blog entry about that week’s poll. There probably won’t be much there, save a brief explanation and the results of the previous week’s poll. However, that should open things up as a spot for you to post comments with regards to the poll and your particular vote.

And since we on the topic of things you might have noticed is that I changed the format up a bit. As much as I kinda liked the big-@ss photo of me down by the Port Stanley Harbour, it was time to update the look of the blog a little bit.

I decided to can the joke “About Me” and make it a little more serious, not to mention truthful. For some reason, I can’t insert line breaks so it’s all one long paragraph. Oh well. I also deleted the old contents of “Useless Information” and added a couple of new tidbits. I figured it was time to refresh that as well.

I’ll try and blog tomorrow and Wednesday. However, after that it may be a while before you get some new blog comment. As some of you may know, I am heading to Baltimore, MD for a few days to help my friend, Kelly, celebrate her 30th birthday. (Feel free to pass along your greetings in the Comment Section.)
I am heading out on April Fool’s Day and will return on April 6th. I’m kinda nervous about the whole aiport experience, since I’ve never flown before. I just hope that part of the trip goes smoothly. Hanging out with Kelly in Baltimore, meanwhile, will be awesome.

(By the way, feel free to drop me a comment or e-mail me either at my g-mail account or on Facebook. I know I won’t be able to respond right away but I love coming home from an excursion of any kind or length and being able to have lots of stuff, either e-mail or from my favourite websites, to read.)

I’m just glad I’m feeling up to this trip, health-wise. One of the reasons I haven’t been blogging (or doing much of anything) lately is because I’ve had what I’m assuming is the flu for the last couple of weeks. Yeah, usually I get the flu, I have a few days where I don’t feel well and a couple of days where I REALLY don’t feel well. This time out, there were days when I almost couldn’t stay awake, including two days where I went to bed at 7:30 and woke up with at 4:30 am with pounding headache and sweating. Other times it was limited to instances of a really bad cough, the odd migraine, and feeling really weak in the knees. However, I am happy to say that, for now, I am 95% cured.

I say 95% cured because at my age and in my general physical state, I always feel like crap over one thing or the other. I guess a better line is “I am happy to say that I am back to as good as I get.” A couple of weekends ago, my sister and nephew came to visit. I swear, I wish I had a tenth of his energy. I’d probably get a heck of a lot more accomplished. (Although I could probably do without the Thomas the Tank Engine fascination.)

I finally listened to the newly-released Jimi Hendrix album, Valleys of Neptune, over the weekend. I’d give it a B- in terms of a grade. The album sounds less like a polished studio album and more like a collection of jams that Hendrix was known for. There are several tracks that are available on albums released during Hendrix’s life, albeit slightly alternate versions(“Stone Free”, “Fire”, “Red House”) as well as an electric version of “Hear My Train Coming”, a reworking of “Ezy Ryder” entitled “Lullaby for the Summer” and a cover of Cream’s “Sunshine of Your Love”.

There are also several new (or at least as far as I know) tracks including the title track, “Crying Blue Rain” and “Ship’s Passing Through the Night”, an outtake from his Axis: Bold As Love album “Mr. Bad Luck” and “Lover Man” an evolution of “Rock Me Baby” which had been based on B.B.King’s tune of the same name.

Because of the nature of the material being presented, Valleys of Neptune sometimes feels less like Hendrix and company going into the studio to lay down tracks for an album, and more like he was just jamming with his friends. However, Jimi being Jimi, don’t take that as a condemnation that Valleys of Neptune comes off as just a guitarist and his buddies messing around and, years later, someone trying to cash in on a jam session. Instead, the genius that was Hendrix meant that everything he did, he did well. But in listening to his cover of “Sunshine of Your Love”, you can definitely hear the evidence that that particular track was part of a jam session where Jimi decides to plug in an extended instrumental jam before coming back to the Cream-penned version.

There wasn’t anything on Valleys of Neptune that made me want to hit rewind in order to immediately hear again, but the album is certainly filled with some great tunes to have on while you’re working away on the computer or around the house, which is what I was doing as I listened.

I think if you’re a long-time Hendrix fan, this is a definite pick-up. If you’re a Hendrix novice, I’d point you towards Are You Experienced or his Smash Hits album as a first step to discovering just what made Jimi Hendrix rock’s greatest guitar hero.

Despite not feeling 100% I went up to the Thamesford Public Library and picked up “All Families Are Psychotic” by Douglas Coupland and Trudeau’s Shadow, a collection of essays about “the Life and Legacy of Pierre Elliot Trudeau”. I haven’t started the latter yet but I am about half-way through “All Families Are Psychotic.”

Coupland’s book of 2000 tells the story of a very dysfunctional family all gathered together in Florida as the daughter prepares to take part in a NASA Space launch. As the story progresses, we see flashbacks to how the family deteriorated, including the day the father shot the older son for sleeping with his new girlfriend, the bullet passing through and embedding itself in the mother, and passing along the son’s AIDS.

In the present, the mother and the father’s new girlfriend are taken hostage in a greasy diner, while the younger son’s girlfriend, about to sell their soon-to-be-born baby, counts the money in the washroom, unaware of anything that’s happening. Meanwhile, the three men of the family get involved in a scheme to sell a letter to Princess Diana, which was last seen being placed in her coffin.

So yeah, it’s not exactly a Norman Rockwell painting-type family. But the story is quite compelling as the flashbacks are like watching a car crash as you wait to see just how this family got this screwed up. And the story taking place in “present day” as you wonder where this collection of damaged characters will end up.

About a week ago, I blogged my predictions about the outcome of Wrestlemania XXVI. Since the event took place last night, let’s see how well my predictions did.

World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. Edge - “I say Jericho retains because as great as Edge is on the mic, he's too injury prone to be trusted with the World title.”

Result: The reasons may be unclear, but Jericho did indeed retain.

WWE Champion Batista vs. John Cena - “Much like Hogan-Andre, you expect Cena to win, but there's enough of a chance (probably moreso here) that the heel will win. I still pick Cena.”

Result: Cena regained the title and beat Batista.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio -“I'm picking Punk to win to continue the feud rather than this being the blow-off.”

Result: Nope, turns out the blow-off was at Wrestlemania. Mysterio won.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels -“And I'm thinking it will be the last hurrah for the Heartbreak Kid.”

Result: Indeed it was, at least for now. Michaels did the right thing and laid down for the ‘Taker, allowing the streak to go to 18-0. (My prediction: The Undertaker retires two years from now, with the streak at 20-0.)

Triple H vs. Sheamus - “Triple H wins in a glorified squash.”

Result: It might have been a step above a squash, but Triple H won.

Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon – “I suggest Bret wins with the sharpshooter after about 5-7 minutes of garbage wrestling, interspersed with the odd punch and kick session.”

Result: It went longer than 5-7 minutes and probably longer than it should have. Still, Bret wins with the sharpshooter.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match – “Since it took McIntyre several tries and the dealings of Mr. McMahon to get him into the match, I'm guessing he snags the briefcase.”

Result: Kofi Kingston was added to the match which made me question my pick. Turns out, it was neither McIntyre nor Kingston, but Jack Swagger who snagged the briefcase.

Unified Tag Team Champion Big Show & The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth – “No matter, Big Show and Miz retain.
Result: I was right on the money there.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes (Triple Threat Match) – “Orton wins, Rhodes and Dibiase remain a heel team.”

Result: Whether Rhodes and Dibiase remain a team, Orton picked up the victory.

I picked seven right, and missed on two. When I was in school, 78% was a pretty good mark, so I’ll take that.

New Poll - Comment Here

2010-03-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

I've decided that every time I create a new poll, I am going to create an entry like this, so people can leave comments about their vote. In other words, for this week, if you voted "I worked with John in retail", you can add to it by saying "I worked with John at (insert name of store here)." If you want to further elaborate here, go right ahead.

Again, I really appreciate any comments, since it lets me know people are actually reading this, and makes me want to write more.

Oh, and when I create an entry like this, I'll also publish the results. However, since I write about the results of last week's poll in the entry I'm currently writing, I'll leave you in suspense for now.

Special note: There may be a lag between the closing date for this week's poll and the revealing of the results since I will be in Baltimore visiting my friend (and avid My Thought Process Reader), Kelly, on her birthday.

An Open Letter to Jesse James...and Weird Al - The Movie?

2010-03-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Jesse James,

ARE YOU FRICKIN' NUTS? You have a beautiful wife in Sandra Bullock who must be pretty decent in the personality department, for her to be named as "America's Sweetheart". So you dump her for THIS freak of nature?

A better question: ARE YOU ON FRICKIN' CRACK??? You've got a hot wife with an above room temperature I.Q. and you leave her for Chyna After A Bad Magic Marker Incident?

Meanwhile, here's one of the best trailers I've seen in a while...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3231da28bb/weird-the-al-yankovic-story

Wrestlemania Predictions

2010-03-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

One week from today, all eyes in the professional wrestling...oops, I mean, "Sports Entertainment" world will be centered on Arizona, as World Wrestling Entertainment. After a lengthy Wrestlemania FanFest event, and other wrestling events in the area (I think Ring of Honor is putting on a show there, but don't quote me on that), the biggest wrestling...er, I mean Sports Entertainment...show of 2010 will take place, as WWE presents Wrestlemania XXVI.

And with the card pretty much set, although I've heard rumours of a 10th participant in the Money in the Bank match and I have to assume there'll be a Divas match, here are my picks for Wrestlemania XXVI.

World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. Edge - Brilliant move to put these two together. Not only is there a history between them (Jericho basically buried Edge after his injury cost them the WWE Tag belts) but they both have the ability to cut amazing promos. I say Jericho retains because as great as Edge is on the mic, he's too injury prone to be trusted with the World title.

WWE Champion Batista vs. John Cena - Now this is the match that Wrestlemanias are made of. Two of the top guys in WWE colliding. I mean, you could like this to Wrestlemania III when "the irresistable force met the immovable object", save that Batista (who I have to like to Andre) is probably in better shape than the Giant was at Wrestlemania III. Cena is Hogan-like in that, much like Batista said, the WWE is pretty much built around him merchandise-wise but yet does have his detractors. Much like Hogan-Andre, you expect Cena to win, but there's enough of a chance (probably moreso here) that the heel will win. I still pick Cena.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio - This kinda has the feel of "Well, we need to get them on the card somehow" but the WWE started the program early enough that they were able to put some build into it (Punk and Mysterio interferring in each other's matches, Punk attacking Rey in front of his family). With the stipulation of "Rey has to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses", I'm picking Punk to win to continue the feud rather than this being the blow-off. It might have worked better if they'd started it in late 2009, had Rey forced to join at the Rumble, and then the blow-off where Rey wins and leaves Punk's group here at Mania.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels - HBK tries to end the streak AGAIN. Didn't Kane get two tries? How come he didn't have to put his career on the line? A lot of people b!tch about the WWE's writing staff but they brought their A-Game here. What seemed like an off-the-cuff comment at the Slammies grew into one of the top storyline in the WWE. (I would suggest HBK/Taker and Hart/McMahon are probably of higher stature than either of the title matches.) With every setback Michaels suffered, it seemed more likely we'd see DX Explodes at 'Mania. Unless they do a BS finish where there's a Double-DQ, etc, wrestling will be changed forever following their match. And I'm thinking it will be the last hurrah for the Heartbreak Kid.

Triple H vs. Sheamus - Remember what I said about Mysterio and Punk...well, the "put these two together to get them on the card" feel is doubled here, and unlike Mysterio/Punk, they didn't even get much of a build-up. I've heard Sheamus has raised his game in terms of promos, but I think the suprise push of late last year is over. Triple H wins in a glorified squash.

Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon - You know, there are many staples of Wrestlemania...the Heavyweight Championship Matches, the Money In the Bank Matches, the Undertaker's Streak Match...and the Vince McMahon Tries to Prove He's A Wrestler Match. Sadly, the only McMahon with any wrestling ability is Shane, who was in the Middle East at last report. While Bret Hart might have been the greatest worker in the business back in the 90s, time, ring rust, a concussion and ...oh yeah... a STROKE...has put him largely out of commission. So you've got a non-wrestler pitted against a former wrestler. The heat for this match will be tremendous; the actual wrestling will be horrendous. I suggest Bret wins with the sharpshooter after about 5-7 minutes of garbage wrestling, interspersed with the odd punch and kick session. Again, the crowd will go nuts, but don't expect Steamboat-Flair.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Okay, so we've got lumbering bohemoth Kane, jobber Evan Bourne, mid-carders MVP, Matt Hardy (and considering he was about the only guy NOT to get a WWE Magazine cover this month, he's probably not exactly due for a push) and Shelton Benjamin, depushed newcomers Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, former ECW Champion Christian and Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre. Okay, so not exactly a field of dreams here, although Benjamin has proven he can provide the spot of the night in MITB, even if it may not translate into a victory. Since it took McIntyre several tries and the dealings of Mr. McMahon to get him into the match, I'm guessing he snags the briefcase.

Unified Tag Team Champion Big Show & The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth - I know I read it somewhere else but who did the Hart Dynasty p!ss off not to be in this spot. I mean, I know Show and Miz are heels but really, the makeshift team of Morrison and R-Truth...and this was the only way Morrison, he of the "let's give him his own DVD" ideaology could get on the show? Before I continue, how hot is the Miz right now. Yes, Punk has been called the best heel in the industry right now, but give Miz a Top 3 or 5 spot, and really from out of nowhere! I don't even think he needs the two belts, just the U.S. title and a microphone and he's golden. If anything, I'm guessing Morrison turns on R-Truth and that's the fued they use to establish Morrison as a top heel. No matter, Big Show and Miz retain.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes (Triple Threat Match) - Another feud that has been months in the making, although I don't see it as being as much of a heat-producing program as one might think. (I blame the fact that Dibiase and Rhodes were never really seen as much more than muscle for Orton.) I'm guessing Orton is the face here, but even if Rhodes and Dibiase work together to double-team Orton, the heel heat on them won't amount to much, since the thought process is "We don't like you telling us what to do" and Orton hasn't done a lot to be the face. Maybe it's supposed to be heel vs. heel vs. heel, in which case, it's kind of a unique idea. Orton wins, Rhodes and Dibiase remain a heel team, since WWE needs all the tag teams, face or heel it can get.

Not sure how many of you are still reading this but I just posted an excerpt from my someday-to-be-published book When Wrestling Was Golden: A Fan's Remembrance of Pro Wrestling 1985-1990 over on my wrestling blog. Check it out here.

And speaking of wrestling-related topics, I recently read Andre the Giant: A Legendary Life by Michael Krugman, and I have to say I wasn't all that impressed with it. It starts out pretty well, but most of the book is devoted to his WWE days in the mid-to-late 1980s. Not that there's anything wrong with that, since most old-school WWE fans remember him from Wrestlemania III, etc. And even though it's a WWE-produced book, it's not afraid to break kayfabe here and there. The problem is that, after skimming through his life and career prior to that (of the 344-page book, coverage of Wrestlemania I starts on page 94), the book ends up being less something Krugman wrote and more something he just edited together using recaps of matches, interview segments and WWE programs, with the odd interview from people like Tim White, Ted Dibiase, and Vince McMahon (who basically buries Hulk Hogan at one point). I'd suggest if you want a quick read full of nostalgia, this probably is the book for you. But you could probably learn more real facts about Andre the Giant from reading his Wikipedia article.

My Week In Review

2010-03-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

You know, it's these "My Day/Week in Review" postings, you know, the ones where I try to encapsulate my day into a few paragraphs, rather than ramble on about one topic or another that's crawled up my @ss, that make me realize just how true the phrase "I have no life" really is.

For those who couldn't figure it out from my previous posting(s), I've been under the weather for the last week or so. It's nothing major, mind you, just the common cold come for an uncommonly long stay. Right now, it's just the odd cough, but a couple of weeks ago I pulled something in the left side of my abdomen. I thought it had healed up but for some reason, after about 4:00 pm, it flairs up with this cough. So instead of just coughing, I find myself having to grasp my side every time I feel one coming on, so I can get enough breath to sufficiently cough.

So yeah, my inability to cough correctly is the highlight of my week. Of course, I was off on Tuesday and took most of Thursday and half of Monday off, so there's not much to discuss from a work standpoint.

That's not to say there isn't a lot going on at work but, with me being off sick, there isn't a lot to discuss. I will say that, during my brief time at work this week, I did manage to get quite a bit accomplished. Whether it was enough to let me keep my head above water next week is a whole 'nother story.

If this weekend looks to be a bit boring (I hope to catch up on some of my "To Do" list items I couldn't get too earlier this week) then next weekend should be pretty busy. I'll be in Whitby visiting Jack and since the Runaways is playing in Whitby, I hope to check that out. On Sunday, I'm having brunch with my friend, Lyz before coming home to partake in the Holiest Day of My Year, Wrestlemania Sunday!

(Okay, I'm sure some will consider that a blasphemous statement but I did say "the Holiest Day of MY Year" not THE Year. Technically, if I was part of some kookie religion that worshipped the WWE, Wrestlemania could be deemed a religious holiday. Dang that it always falls on a Sunday, otherwise I could argue that I should have the day off from work.)

Which reminds me, I need to post my annual "Wrestlemania Prediction" blog posting. I guess you can all look for that sometime this weekend. As well, if I get a chance I may FINALLY finish my blogs about gay marriage and Why I Hate Facebook. (The two topics are not connected.)

Still Sick

2010-03-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

I don't mind being sick on a Friday, but I hate being sick on a Monday. I wasn't able to sleep much last night since this cough is nagging the crap out of me. I ended up going in for a half day at work just to get all the Monday morning duties finished up, but I came home at noon and spent much of the afternoon in bed.

With Raw starting, I think I'll sign off and try again tomorrow.

...

Right after I post a new poll, of course.

Last week's results: 1 vote for James Ransome (Generation Kill) which ironically is my Twitter icon.

Don't Come Near Me, I'm Contagious

2010-03-14T19:14:00.001-07:00

This is probably going to be a short post since, with the onset of a bit of a flu bug on Thursday, I haven't really been up to too much. I went into the weekend deciding that rather than worry about that "To Do" list of mine. Instead, I watched the final two discs of Season 3 of 30 Rock and listened to the audio commentary for Season 1. In between I continued the Soviet Union's conquest of the world as part of Making History 2.0: The Calm and the Storm, which is supposed to be a World War II game but I had downloaded a scenario set in 1985.

The flu hasn't really hit me as hard as I expected it might. I mean, I wake up with a sore throat in the morning but soon after I start my day it kinda clears up. I'm still not feeling 100% and I'm coughing a bit. Of course, this is written Sunday night so by Monday morning, that flu will probably have hit me with a wallop.

I meant to blog to tell everyone I saw Avatar last Wednesday. I still believe Hurt Locker deserved the Oscar but Avatar was a pretty cool movie. I definitely think the 3-D effects helped it, but I think, seen in 2-D, the effects and storyline would have still made it a worthwhile night out at the theatre.

I also finally saw 500 Days of Summer which I had been wanting to see since well...summer. It played one week at one theatre in London, and then disappeared. I had read the screenplay (although it was different than the movie by about one scene) and had the soundtrack. I liked the story that it had to tell and the message it had to deliver, although I don't know that the narrative style of switching from Day 300 to Day 1 to Day 56 to Day 259 really added all that much.

Now if I can just watch District 9, I can scratch both movies I've been saying I am going to watch for about month now off that list.

By the way, if anybody reading this in the London area knows when and where The Runaways is playing in the next couple of weeks, let me know, because that's one of those movies I'll hit a theatre to see.

The Autobiography of John M. Milner

2010-03-08T17:07:00.001-08:00

I can admit it! This isn't anywhere close to being where I wanted to be at 40-plus years of age. And I know that I can't go back and change things (although I could probably be make a Top 5 list of "Things I Would Change About My Life To Date" with ease!) but that doesn't mean I can't wonder what the future might bring.

In fact, I think, since I have this blog at my disposal, why not share some of those visions with "my public"? So, if you want to know what the next twenty or thirty years of my life are going to be like, sit back and check this out...

(Just remember, I retain the movie rights!)

With the publication of my novel Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend, I don't quite sell enough copies to retire to a life of leisure. I am however, proud to note that it becomes a cult classic, popular among disillusioned 20-somethings. "A Modern Day Catcher In the Rye" is how one critic describes it.

I give my first interview to Paul Sutter of Shelf Life Magazine and the next day walk into the Coles at Masonville to find it on the shelves there. Dedicated to my friend, Dee, I give my first copy to my parents, the second to my friend Kelly.

As the book gains an underground following, Cameron Crowe buys the rights (with me kept on as a special adviser) to make the film version, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Billy Bob Thornton, Lauren Graham, Kaley Cuoco and Eric Bruskotter.

The income from the film (and increased revenue from the book sales) allow me to move my parents to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and pay for my nephew Jack's university tuition and my sister's second wedding.

I continue to work for GDLS-C until the publication of my second book "Take the Long Way Home" which, while it doesn't spawn a movie version, does become a best-seller. With its success I retire and write full-time.

Within a year, I realize I've fallen in love with my agent, Amanda Robinson. When my novel "A Time of War" becomes #1 on the New York Times Bestseller List, I propose. She accepts and we have a spring wedding. She will bear me a son, John Emmett Milner.

After several other books, I finally am able to publish my "labour of love" entitled When Wrestling Was Golden, about being a wrestling fan in the late 1980s. The book doesn't sell as well as my others and some critics question why I would publish it at all. However, my devoted fanbase (as well as wrestling fans around North America) buy enough copies for it to be respectable.

But more than the number of copies that the book sells is the opportunity it provides me. Vince McMahon becomes a fan and hires me to head up the new WWE History Department.

As I work on an exhaustive, all-encompassing History of Pro Wrestling From 1900-2020, I sit in on several WWE story meetings. Within a year, I have become a story editor for Smackdown. With a creative team that includes myself, Jim Cornette, Paul Heyman and Mick Foley, WWE enjoys its greatest years both in terms of ratings and fan satisfaction.

Sadly, I won't be there to watch the organization reach it's greatest heights in popularity. After my passing of an undisclosed illness, my friends and family hold a great wake following a WWE house show at the John Labatt Centre held in my honour. (I'm hoping Ric Flair has one last match in him for me.)

Five years after my death, Oliver Stone pens and directs my biography, starring James Ransome as me, Tina Majorino as Kelly, Melanie Lynskey as Dee, Harrison Ford as Vince McMahon, and Maggie Gyllenhaal as Amanda.

-----

Hey...want to be part of the Oliver Stone bio-pic? Leave me a comment telling me who you'd want to play you? (I know I left a lot of people out but I didn't want to inadvertently insult someone with my pick to play them.)

Happy Oscar Day

2010-03-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

As I get ready to sit down to watch 2012 (and hopefully District 9 and 500 Days of Summer following), I figured I'd turn my attention to another major movie event happening later today: the Oscars.

Now, if there's one thing I've learned about making Oscar picks, it's to go with whatever the major buzz is. In other words, if all you're hearing that one nominee is a shoe-in, it's because he/she/it is a shoe-in. Or to put it in terms none of you will understand, if you, as a nominee is getting a serious push, you're not jobbing to that mid-carder.

Unless Marisa Tomei accidentally reads your name off the card.

Anyways here are My Thought Process's picks for the 82nd Academy Awards. (Note: I'll stick to the major categories. I'm not going to try and figure out which should win Best Foreign Film"

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
* Ironically, Avatar, despite its rise to becoming the greatest movie of all time financially, isn't getting much Oscar love when it comes to getting the nod to win. But hey, this is the only nominee I've actually seen so far, so I'm cool with it.

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
* I'd like to pick Gabourey Sidibe (Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire) because I heard she was really good in a very unconventional role. However, everybody is picking Bullock - which is weird because the movie did zip in theatres.

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)
* All right! Another movie I saw this past year. I have to admit,however, walking out of Inglorious Basterds, I was not expecting it to amount to much more than a really cool "Guy Movie".

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique (Precious)
* Okay, maybe this is where Precious will win. Just a thought: maybe this movie would do better if it was just called Precious, having not added everything afterwards. People probably voted against it thinking "What if I have to present the award? It'll take me 10 minutes to get through the title!" Also, I'd really like Maggie Gyllenhaal to win this, but I know she won't.

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)
* Again, this isn't who I'd want to win (Tarantino) but I think Bigelow will win. By the way, if you want to see a really good Bigelow film, check out 1990's Blue Steel, starring Jamie Lee Curtis. I think it's Bigelow's first film.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner (Up In the Air)
* My preference? Nick Hornby's An Education, just because it's Nick Hornby.

Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino (Inglorious Basterds)

...SIGH...

You know what? I could have saved myself a lot of time and effort and just linked this site to Kelly's blog because her picks and my picks are identical, and she does a lot more research to back up her choices. Oh well, at least I'm almost 100% I can come back tomorrow and go "YEAH!!! 8 for 8!!!!" Because if Kelly's picks are backing mine up, I'm pretty confident my picks have a good chance of coming in.

Damn...I should have had an Oscar pool at work or something, made a few bucks.

Where Are They Now?

2010-03-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

You ever hear a song on the radio from 1985 and think "Whatever happened to?" I do that all the time and usually a quick stop at Wikipedia will satisfy that particular thirst for knowledge.

By the way, you'd be suprised how many "One Hit Wonders" continue to record and/or tour to this day.

For example:

Paul Hardcastle, who's "19" dance hit about the Vietnam War epitomizes to me just how screwed up pop music was in the 1980s has continued to have an impressive career in the Smooth Jazz genre. The 52-year-old Hardcastle won the Billboard Smooth Jazz Artist of the Year in 2008.

In 2009, he released the album Zero One and Paul Hardcastle: the Collection and will release the Jazzmasters 6 in 2010.

'Til Tuesday, whose beautifully haunting Voices Carry was a Top 10 hit in 1985 broke up in 1990 after their 1988 album Everything's Different Now tanked. However, lead singer Aimee Mann continues to record (she released @#%&*! Smilers in 2008) and act (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, West Wing and the Big Lebowski). Former Til Tuesday member Michael Haussman is Mann's manager.

One of the most underrated songs of the 80s was Electric Blue which reached #7 in 1988 for the Australian band Icehouse. Well, I can't say I've heard anything out of Icehouse since but apparently Iva Davies has continued to record and perform with almost two dozen members of the band at one time or the other.

The band was inducted into the Australian Recording Industry Association Hall of Fame in 2006 and has performed at the Grand Finale show of Battle of the Choirs in August 2008 (where Davies was a judge) and at the Sound Relief Benefit concert in March 2009.

One of my Dad's favourite 80s hits was "65 Love Affair" by Paul Davis. The single, which reached #6, came from Davis' last album, Cool Night after a career that began in 1970. He would make a couple of "guest appearances" on singles with Marie Osmond and Tanya Tucker. Believe it or not, he survived a Nashville shooting in 1986, but sadly passed away of a heart attack in April 2008.

Kelly asked me whatever happened to Tiffany. Well, in addition to posing nude for Playboy in 2002, moving to Nashville to attempt a comeback as a country singer, Tiffany appeared on several reality shows on both sides of the Atlantic including Celebrity Fit Club and...if you can believe it...Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling.

Tiffany has released albums in 2005 and 2008. In 2008, she had two singles "Higher" and "Dust Off and Dance" reach #19 on the U.S. Dance Charts.

Back for More!

2010-03-04T18:01:00.000-08:00

Two blog posts in one day? Do we live in a great country or what?

Well, I didn't want ALL my postings to be about me revealing things.

First of all, I want everyone to surf over to Facebook's newest group, "I Get All My Pop Culture Knowledge from Kelly Hager". Kelly has promised to use the group to post all her pop culture news, so if you want to amaze your friends by knowing what's what in Hollywood, this is the group for you:
http://www.facebook.com/?sk=2361831622#!/group.php?gid=341939869468.

Speaking of websites to check out, don't forget to check out my wrestling-related blog at http://25yearsofwrestling.blogspot.com/. If you are a fan of my writing, check it out over the weekend as I will be posting some of the wrestling-writing I have done over the years. Even now, I've got links to some of my articles, Top 10 lists and photos.

(Ah...look who I'm talking to!)

I am watching the "Pam Gives Birth" episode of the Office. I have to be honest, I think this and "Niagara" are the two best episodes the show has produced in a while. Dwight's actions when he decided to be the escort for Pam and Jim (and Mike) to the hospital were awesome.

Man, Pam's sister, Isabelle, is cute! Speaking of cute, how cute was it when Andy FINALLY asked Karen out.

Okay, random music musings:

(1) Is there no other Robert Palmer song they can play on the radio except simply irresistable? Seriously, name me on non-Power Station song they play of his?

(2) This has been a long-standing opinion of mine that I will share here. I believe there is no one in the civilized world who doesn't like Eric Clapton!

Okay, last blog of the day, I promise, but coming later this weekend (with some miscellaneous blog posts in between), my Oscar picks!

Going 4 for 4

2010-03-04T17:27:00.000-08:00

Wow! Another baseball reference, and Opening Day is still a month away. (The Jays are 1-1 in Grapefruit League action, for those keeping score at home...which I know all none of you probably are.)

No, instead, tonight I will be presenting the four "revealing truths", one for each of the votes I've gotten in this week's poll...

Okay, riddle me this Batman, when the hell did this stop being my on-line (Texas Book) depository for random wrestling ramblings and become John's Spill His Guts Central?

F&ck! The things I'll do just to find out who's reading my blog to see if there's any point to not just sitting down once a week, writing out an e-mail and sending it to the three people I assumed read this.

(Of course, now I realize I might have missjudged that number by half and so, for the foreseeable future, my blog is here to stay.)

Anyways, here are my four "revelations" for today. (The "voters" can choose which revelation is directed towards them, depending on which vote is yours, although I really just kinda came up with these randomly, not directed towards any person.)

(1) I think Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears are both kinda hot. Probably dumb as fence posts, and vapid wastes of space on the celebrity scene, but I wouldn't throw either of them outta my bed for eating crackers.

(But then why else would they be there? Ba-dum-bump!)

(2) I always wonder if I could get away with telling people from high school and/or college who I haven't seen since the late 80s (which aren't a lot now, thank you Facebook!!!!) that I served in Desert Storm.

(3) This is going to sound weird but I wish I was more ethnic. Seriously, I'd love to be an Irish Catholic or Jewish. Being a straight, white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant male has a certain lameness to it.

and finally...

(4) I accidentally smelled some marijuana smoke when I was in Vietnam...

Oh wait, that wasn't me, that was Principal Skinner from the Simpsons!

Don't forget, I am still on the lookout for Questions from you, the readers, to make up future installments of my "John Reveals All" blog posts.

Ask and You Shall Receive (An Answer)

2010-03-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

At the risk of offending someone who doesn't read this blog anyways, earlier this week I was afraid I was on the verge of partying like it was October 2007. Thankfully, all three factors seem to have subsided to one degree or another.

Funny story: As most of you know (and many seem to care an inordinate amount compared to how much it impacts your daily lives) I do not drive. However, apparently the topic came up at work a while back to which one co-worker opined to another "What? Does he have a bunch of DUIs?" I swear, the retelling of that story made me laugh harder than I have in a while. The irony of course, being that I don't drink either. (Hey, at least I don't drink AND drive!)

Speaking of co-workers: My quasi-sorta-not-really manager Sean has created a Facebook group devoted to the mourning of my recent shaving of my goatee. If you're interested in joining, please feel free to wander over to People for the Ethical Treatment of Milner's Goatee!.

After less than two days, I already have 4 (FOUR!) votes in my latest poll, all of which are in favour of me continuing with the revealing truths. However, I have yet to have anyone comment. My friend Kelly says she is unable to post comments, leading me to wonder if this is a wide-spread thing.

So, here's what I'm going to do. With bittersweet emotions, I'm going to re-instigate an old favourite past-time of mine called "Weird Question of the Day". Basically, this involves you (the interested reader) e-mailing me a question (or if you are able, post it as a comment) you would like me to answer. Despite it's title, you don't have to ask me anything weird or strange. It can basically be anything you'd like to know about me.

In a day or so (maybe Sunday night, perhaps) I will answer a "selection" of questions sent my way. Key word: selection. I reserve the right to NOT answer anything I don't feel comfortable revealing. Don't worry, I will probably answer 99% of what you ask and, in some cases, might just e-mail you the answer if it's something I don't want made public.

So...quit standing there gawking, send me your questions.

John - Now with 100% Less Facial Hair

2010-03-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow...

No, I'm not going anywhere, but I did have to bid a tearful (okay, not really) farewell to my goatee.

Yeah, I'm going to get the photo for my health card tomorrow so I had to shave off the boss goatee I've been growing for the last few weeks.

Which look did I look better with...or in my case, which look did I look less hideous with?

With the goatee

Or Without?

The Payoff Pitch

2010-03-01T18:15:00.000-08:00

Sorry...baseball reference there, and hey, how about them Blue Jays?

Don't worry, non-sports fans, this isn't my essay on Toronto's chances this season. (Although truth be known, I'd put money on the Bad News Bears - the Walther Mattheau version, not the Billy Bob Thornton version - finishing ahead of the Blue Jays in the AL East.)

About a week or so ago, I promised that I'd print one revealing fact for each vote or comment I got. As reader Tammy W pointed out, I received one of each, so I owe my loyal readers TWO truths.

First of all, I'd like to say that my latest plea for people to vote or comment (as a way to better gauge just who was reading my blog) has paid dividends, so far be it from me to not keep up my end of the bargain.

Okay...here are my two revealing truths.

(1) My middle name is Michael.

(2) I live in Canada.

Thanks for playing, gang...

...

KIDDING! I'm not going to take the easy way out. Hmm...I have to be honest, there aren't a lot of truths that I haven't already told people or that I would be comfortable revealing...but here goes...

(1) When I was working at Blockbuster, I suddenly had this epiphany that I should become a minister. Believe it or not, I actually seriously contemplated going through with it. However, eventually I realized my faith wasn't that strong. Still, there's a part of me that would like to become a minister from one of those on-line ministries. You know, you send them a cheque for 75 bucks and they make you a minister of the Church of Wilson Creek, Arkansas. The thing holding me back is the fear that when I get to the Pearly Gates, God would be like "Oh, so you figure you can just surf the Net and become one of my Messengers, huh?" I mean, I figure I have enough strikes against me without going searching for more..

Still...I am tempted...Think about it, I'd probably get invited to more weddings, and I really like the minister's outfits with the collar on them.

(2)I have a serious crush on a good friend of mine, who I consider the most attractive woman I know. She and I have quite a few things in common but there are so many reasons why she and I would never work out (none of which are her fault) that I don't think I would never have the guts to reveal my feelings for her.

That's not to say I haven't fantasized about the truth coming out, but unless she brings it up, I'm not going to start that conversation. (I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but losing one really good friend because of something I said with regards to that, is enough for me.)

The Golden Goal

2010-02-28T09:17:00.000-08:00

I was actually going to start this entry a couple of hours ago, but it's amazing how difficult it is to type with a lump in your throat.

The reason for my emotional response to a hockey game didn't have all that much to do with Sidney Crosby's over-time goal. I'm sure those kind of things happen every night or two in the NHL.

And to be honest, it wasn't like I was there in Vancouver, the way I was when the Lambeth Lancers won their play-off series against the Mount Brydges Bulldogs with a TRIPLE-OVERTIME goal. The photo I took of the Lancers congregating in the corner of the Lambeth Arena, basically on the other side of the Plexiglas from me, as I stood next to team owners Roop Chanderdat and Scott Dart, remains one of the best photos I took while working for Your Village News. But even more importantly, it made me realize just how much of an emotional hold this game has on this country.

No, it was just me, standing (because I couldn't sit down) in front of the TV in my room, fearing I'd have to watch as the Americans, who had battled back from a 2-0 deficit, would score the overtime goal. And let's face it, no matter what else we accomplished over these last two weeks, a loss in the gold medal hockey game would have ended the games on a sour note for Canada.

But instead, even as the commentators were in mid-discussion came Crosby's shot that will forever be known as "the Golden Goal", and we had our "Henderson Scores for Canada!" moment for new generations to discuss "where were you when...?"

And yet, I wasn't alone, and perhaps that was the overwhelming idea about it. I knew that an entire nation was watching this game, cheering Crosby and the rest of Team Canada like I was. Certainly, the Olympic coverage showed legions of Canadian fans in Vancouver, Toronto (wait, was that Jack Layton at Gretzky's in Toronto?), Nova Scotia and, most poignantly for me, in Kandahar, Afghanistan.

And it's in the words of one Canadian serviceman, 33-year-old Corporal Mike Zebiere, that said it best in a post on the Globe and Mail website: "Why does it always have to come like this? Every time? We can't ever get a good, easy win? But it couldn't have ended any better."

(By the way, click on that link to read a report on the Canadians - and an American or two - watching the game in Afghanistan. No seriously, I'll still be here when you get back.)

And yeah, as I myself posted on Facebook, I have never heard an entire nation groan as I did when the U.S. scored, with 24 seconds left in the final period of regulation play. But my answer to Cpl. Zebiere is that Team Canada wanted to make it extra exciting for their fans, their fellow Canadians. Don't get me wrong if it had been 8-1 or whatever the score was against the Russians, going into 30 seconds left in the game, Canadians would still have cheered. But almost having the gold snatched out of our hands, only for the Canadians to snatch it right back made the victory all the sweeter.

Speaking of Facebook, one only had to check out the status updates to know that Canadians (one particular @ssh@t notwithstanding) were cheering and showing their national pride even on the Internet, sharing that pride with their friends.

Even WWE Superstar Chris Jericho (son of former NHLer Ted Irvine) weighed in on the game, demanding the WWE have a TV set up in the dressing room of a house show and later Tweeting "Beautiful goal and a storybook ending to the best game I've ever seen! Best part is I got to see it."

And as Team Canada celebrated, I thought of Terry and Owen and Trudeau and the men and women we've lost in Afghanistan, and while a Olympic hockey victory should certainly not stack up against running across Canada for cancer or serving your country, it's a times like this that we remember what has made our nation great.

And while we cheer our men's hockey team for their victory, Canada as a whole has a lot to celebrate today. With 14, Canada's Olympic team has set a new record for most gold medals in a Winter Olympics. Not too shabby for a team looking to nab its first gold on home soil as the 2010 games began.

And so maybe we all still have to get up for work tomorrow, the same way we would have if the U.S. had won. Bills still have to be paid. The same problems we had yesterday will still have to be dealt with.

But today, we could take a moment and be proud of our country.

Canada...the true North, strong and free.

Reason #256 Why I'm Going to Hell!

2010-02-21T19:46:00.000-08:00

Note: Before you read this, scroll down to my previous post "Wanna Know A Secret".

No really, go ahead, I'll wait..

Okay, so back to the live action...

This was just too good to pass up...

News Item:Vancouver police are searching for missing actor Andrew Koenig, best known for his role as Richard “Boner” Stabone in the 1980s sitcom “Growing Pains.”

How long before Alan Thicke issues a desperate plea for someone to help him find his beloved "Boner"?

As Jim Dales would say "Oh, I'mma gonna go to hell when I die!"

And as I say "I'm already going there (and I would argue I've already been there a couple of times) so one stupid joke ain't gonna hurt!

Okay once the groans (or should I say "Groaning Pains"?)have subsided, I will tell you a bit about what I did this weekend, which doesn't seem like a lot but...

(1) I have almost completed the February update for Shelf Life. ETA on that will hopefully be tomorrow night.

(2) I finished Mars Life but have yet to write my review for it. The Coles Notes version is that it was a lot better than I expected. I really got caught up with the plot and characters, so it's definitely recommended if you like sci-fi. With about 25 pages to go, I was expecting it to be the first of a series but it's self-contained.
I'm reading a book about Abraham Lincoln As Statesman next. I also finished (or rather, gave up on Douglas Coupland's Generation A. It turns into just a way for Coupland to publish a bunch of very short stories as a novel.

(3) I watched NASCAR on Fox. I forget the name of the race but it was from California. Jimmy Johnson won handidly. It looked like Kevin Harvick was going to make a charge with about 5-6 laps to go but he slid up against the wall and was never able to regain the ground.

(4) I ended up not watching the Canada-US Olympic hockey game, save for about 5 seconds as the U.S. scored its 5th goal of the game, with about 45 seconds left in the 3rd period. Instead I watched The Hurt Locker. It was quite a well-done movie from a cinematography point of view. Plot-wise it was exceptional, because it really went against a lot of conventions. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it (Kelly, we will chat about this Monday night) but there were a couple of plot points I was expecting to come to fruition and none of them happened, which made for a much more interesting movie. I haven't seen Avatar or District 9 (I may watch the latter some time this week) but I'm voting for the Hurt Locker for Best Picture at this point.

(5) Speaking of California (in #3), I've been listening to "Dani California" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers a lot over the last couple of days.

(6) The sun was out for much of the day, so I decided to get outside and go for a walk around Thamesford. Of course, during the time I went for my walk it clouded over, but I still got some decent shots of the park and river near my place. I posted them on Facebook.

Check them out here

Wanna Hear A Secret? (Details Below)

2010-02-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

Hello...

Is anyone out there?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Okay, so my blog-a-day experiment didn't go so well this week, but there really wasn't much to tell save I worked for four days, came home and hung out in front of the computer, working on my Shelf Life update, watching Season 1 of 30 Rock, working on my local history manuscript...oh, and talking myself out of contacting several possibilities on Plenty of Fish.

Wow! It's amazing what I'll write here when I don't think anyone is reading this, which I have to assume, since not a single person has voted in this week's poll, nor left any comments on last weekend's entry.

Hmm...methinks me has a good idea. I was watching the "Fireworks" episode of 30 Rock just now and there's a scene where Liz Lemon (played by Tina Fey, who I'm becoming a bigger fan of by the episode, even as Lemon is revealed to be more and more unstable, but not in a bad way, just that she seems pretty much willing to become a trainwreck to get what she wants...)

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, there's a scene where she basically reveals a bunch of very personal and very weird things about herself to this guy she's got a crush on...

(And by the way, is this a TV thing, or do women actually profess their crushes to men? And if so, how come no one ever professes to have a crush on me?....Oh wait, I already know the answer to that.

ANYWAYS....

Here is my challenge. Over the course of the next week, I will reveal one thing about myself for every vote and/or comment I get.

Okay, a couple of rules.

(1) When I say "Comments", I mean comments directly relating to the subject of the blog entry. You can't just type "Wassup???" and expect me to pour my heart out here.

(2) You're better to comment on this entry or future entries. If you go back a month or two and comment about one of my previous blogs, I'll have no way of knowing. You could however reference one of my previous blogs in a comment here. (Or you could e-mail me and say "Hey, John, in your November 23rd blog, you said "***" and here is my response!)

(3) One "revelation" per person. You can't write 12 comments and expect 12 revealing things. Hint: contact any of your friends who know me and direct them here and tell them to comment/vote.

(4) Since the whole point of this exercise is to find out who reads this, I'd prefer you comment than vote, but I'll accept votes. Ooooh...if you want to "double-dip" and get two revelations for the price of one, you could comment AND vote.

Depending on what's going on this week, I may include these revelations in blogs throughout the week or I may save them up for one big post next weekend.

And so...with that...the ball is in your court.

JM's Weekend In Review

2010-02-15T17:34:00.000-08:00

And so, it's back to work tomorrow after a pretty eventful three-day weekend.

On Saturday, my Dad went up to Whitby and back. We were supposed to stay overnight but Cathy and Jack weren't feeling well, and so we decided to head home Saturday afternoon.

On Sunday, Dad and I went out to do some shopping for the house which included a trip to Metro for groceries, Home Depot for supplies and Forest City Surplus just to look around. (I may go back tomorrow night to pick up a pair of boots and a coat.)

By the time we got home, the Daytona 500 was on lap 12, so we settled in to watch...what ended up being six hours between the first green flag and the final checkered flag. (That included two stops of about two hours in total to repair the race track.)

By the last few laps, most of our favourites were out of the running. And that includes guys like Mark Martin, Michael Waltrip, Bill Elliot, Tony Stewart and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

But wait a second, who's that coming out of nowhere on the last lap but Jr. himself. In the end, Jr. just ran out of time to try and pass eventual 500 winner Jamie McMurray, but it certainly made for a hell of an exciting ending.

And there was a good story for McMurray who ended last season getting cut from his former team to come back and win the biggest race of this 2010 season.

So congrats to Jamie McMurray and congratulations to Canada's first gold medal winner of the 2010 Winter Olympics, Alexandre Bilodeau who took the gold in the Moguls competition.

Now all I have to do is find out what Moguls is and I'll really be excited.

On Sunday, Dad and I went into Walmart and I picked up Season 1 of 30 Rock, and so today, in between working on my manuscript for History In Your Back Yard, I watched the first two discs.

Let me tell you, I wish I could meet a woman like Liz Lemon. (Let me rephrase that, I wish I could meet a woman like Liz Lemon and actually have a shot at dating her.)

There's an essay in there for another time.

Meanwhile, it's time to tune in Raw to see what Jerry Springer will do as guest host of the show.

Yeah, I'm watching Jerry Springer host a wrasslin' show, a little more than 24 hours from watching NASCAR. It's a big night in the trailer park.

Speaking of wrestling, I started my 25th Anniversary of Wrestling blog, although there's not a lot to it, but check it out at http://25yearsofwrestling.blogspot.com/ I promise there will be a lot more in the coming weeks and months.

What's On Milner's TV?

2010-02-12T19:20:00.001-08:00

Mental reminder of something I kinda already knew: The day I have to wake up at 4:40 am and be on the go for the next 12 hours may be tiring...but it really hits you the day after. (Not to be confused with The Day After, the 1980s film about the effects of nuclear war on a midwestern U.S. town...although by mid-morning today I felt like I -barely-survived a nuclear war.) Oh well, it's Friday and once you make it through that, you get to come home and check out Smackdown. More on that in a moment.

Last night I turned in about 10:00 so I didn't watch TNA. (Not that that's any different from those Thursday where I can sleep in until my usual time.) I did, however, check out the Office and 30 Rock. Yes, Kelly has managed to finally convince me to give that show a look. (I'm guessing she wasn't intentionally trying to convert me to a 30 Rock-ite, but she gave the show high marks, so I decided to check it out.) Anyways, while it isn't quite in the same league as the Office Season 2 or The Big Bang Theory, I am quite enjoying it. I think if I stumbled across Season 1 (or any others for that matter) on the cheap, I'd probably pick it up.

The Office, methinks, continues to go down-hill. I have to be honest, and maybe it's because of outside factors, but Jim and Pam are getting kind of annoying. You know, the "Look we're cute!" kind of annoying. I mean, yeah, they're in love, they got married, they're having a baby...but give me the Pam and Jim vs. Dwight dynamic back. Of course, with Jim being back as a salesman, perhaps that dynamic will return. Meanwhile, what was the point of the Dwight-Ryan collaboration? Or for that matter, Michael being moved back to sales for all of 10 minutes. Geez, I've seen longer angles in the WWE.

While I didn't watch TNA, I did catch Smackdown tonight. And Wow! The things you learn by watching wrestling. Did you know Kurt Cobain had resurfaced? I hadn't heard anything about that in any other media outlet.

What? That was Edge (aka Orangeville's Adam Copeland)? Anyone else here see the resemblance?

Wait...look who I'm asking.

Okay, Daytona 500 this weekend. Looking for Mark Martin to finally get the win, although Tony Stewart or Dale Earnhardt Jr. wouldn't break my heart either.

Right now 90% of my readership is wondering, which is more annoying, Dork Boy there talking about wrestling or Dork Boy talking about NASCAR?

Hey,there'd be a poll for ya! Speaking of which, I've got all of 1 vote in my current poll, with only two days before it closes. Do you civic duty and get out to the polls and vote.

I Walked the Talk

2010-02-11T17:17:00.000-08:00

Hey gang!

I took the day off yesterday because we were setting up for Walk the Talk and I didn't get home until 6:30, then had to be in for 5:15 am (up at 4:40 am). Needless to say, I didn't do much save come home, have a hot bath, read some Coupland and went to bed.

The 4:40 am wakeup call wasn't great, but I managed to make it through the day and came home. I'm sitting in front of "The Deep End" the new legal drama. It's an interesting show, with just enough wry humour to off-set some of the more dramatic storylines. Although actually the storylines are interesting as well. I find I like shows that have self-contained stories, but also have a thread of plot that continues from show to show. (The Office is like that.)

Yay! V is returning March 30th.

And hey, they're remaking Best Little Whorehouse in Texas:
http://www.411mania.com/movies/news/129690/[Movies]-Universal-Remaking-Best-Little-Whorehouse.htm

And speaking of things you can find on the Internet, check out Google Maps Street View for 161 Delatre Street (West, not East) in Thamesford, Ontario. It's my house...only before it was my house.

Okay, Office, 30 Rock and TNA Impact...or whatever they're calling it now. I suppose I really should hit the sack early. I find the lack of sleep usually hits the NEXT day. I wasn't too bad despite the long day and hearing the same presentation six times in one day. During the 9:00 session, I felt myself blinking a lot. (In other words, the eyelids were getting heavy.)

And hey, I found out "My Thought Process" has another regular reader in Tricia Dales, wife of fellow GDLS-C "Boyz Club" Member James/Jim/Jimmy/Jebodiah/JSD from CSC Dales.

(heheheheheh! He said "member"! Sorry...some boys club humour there!)

Couples Retreat Review

2010-02-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching "Couple's Retreat" with my folks. I gotta be honest, take out the scenes of a scantily clad Kristen Bell and Kristin Davis and...well, it's got nothing. Seriously, you pretty much know how things are going to pan out within about 10 minutes into the show...of course, it takes another 20 minutes for things to really even get started.

I figured "Couple's Retreat" would be a good parent-friendly film to pass the otherwise black hole of television that is Tuesday (and for that matter) Wednesday nights. Personally, there's a list a mile long of movies that are showing on OnDemand that I'd like to see (500 Days of Summer, It Might Get Loud, District 9, etc.) but I know my Mom and Dad probably wouldn't want to see a documentary on guitarists like Jimmy Page.

(I wonder if my Mom and Dad even know who Jimmy Page is. I mean, my Mom knows who P.Diddy is, so they might be a little bit hipper than I give them credit for.)

Anyways, by the time the couples actually got to the couple's retreat, my Dad had given up on the movie and my Mom was only admitting to this being better than watching a Thomas the Tank Engine movie (which she does with my nephew Jack). However before the credits rolled, even she was saying it sucked. With about 15 minutes left, I attempted to sneak out, but was told that since I was the one who had put the movie on, I had to stick it out with them.

However, I'm guessing that a movie about stranded aliens being discriminated against as an allegory to apartheid probably was looking pretty good to them by that point.

Needless to say, the Milner family gives Couple's Retreat a thumbs down.

Look to your right and you'll notice a new Olympic-themed poll. Be sure to vote.

For those wondering about the results of my last poll, regarding whether to grow facial hair:

I got one vote for "Yes, you'd look cool!"
3 people voted for "No, it's never been a good look for you!"
and finally, one vote (I'm looking at you Lori!) said I should just grow a goatee, rather than a full beard.

Hmm...okay, I know four of the vote-givers but who was the fifth???

The Return of the Daily Blog (after 1 Day)

2010-02-08T17:18:00.000-08:00

I know...you probably thought "Okay, Milner didn't blog on Sunday. His blog-a-day experiment is over."

Not so much,I just ran out of time on Sunday night. My Dad and I watched "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Harder" and while it was that piece of work that had Jeremy Piven and Ken Jeong decide to guest-host Raw in order to promote the movie, The Goods wasn't too bad of a movie. It was one of those movies that looked like the writers just sat around and were tossing out ideas and putting anything in, no matter how crazy. In some movies, it means there's a lot of crap, but in the Goods, it worked.

And hey, how about the fact that Andy Bernard, Darrel Philbin and Todd Packer from the Office were all in there somehow?

"The Goods" may not have been Oscar-calibre, but I think it's one of those movies that could be a hit on DVD. You know, the type of movie that you can pop in when some buddies come over for a pizza and beer night. Actually, it probably makes for a good companion for the Hangover.

And so, it was back to work this morning. At lunch, I made the mistake of suggesting we go to Fast Eddie's for lunch. Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time. However, that "good idea" only lasted until the two burgers hit mid-stomach...and just kinda stayed there. By about 2:00 I was not feeling the Fast Eddie's love anymore. I mean, the place has never been known for it's nutritional value but I've never felt like I had eaten a 10 pound stone and had it lodged in my stomach before.

UGH!

Okay, I know most of you don't like me talking about wrestling, but here's some wrestling-related posting that has a personal tie to me. (I wrote the Sheamus article.)
-----------

The February edition of online magazine The Wrestling Press is now available for free download at thewrestlingpress.com. Here's a sample of what you'll find in this packed edition:

CODY DEANER INTERVIEW
"I hope for the company, for my friends, for the fans, and for the business as whole - I hope TNA continues to move onward and upward. This business needs a shot in the arm. I hope this is it..."

WCW ONE NIGHT STAND
"I interviewed Mick Foley several years back, and he said that when he turns up on an indy show, people think he’s ‘keeping it real’, when Hogan turns up on one, you assume he must owe someone some serious cash..."

HOGAN’S FALSE HOPE
"AJ Styles has been pushed to the top for years. And AJ has never become THE man. And AJ will never be THE man. And AJ will never get to that next level for two simple reasons..."

TNA IS GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1989!
"So TNA is putting its fate into the hands of a superstar well past his prime, who did his best work a decade or two ago. Sit down Sting. No, not you Steiner. Or you Nash. Back off, Booker...Getting crowded in here!"

WHY SHEAMUS'S CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN IS GOOD FOR WRESTLING
"The next time there’s a tournament, a battle royal, or even a major match in which a dark horse is entered, fans might not be so quick to rule out that long shot..."

DESMOND WOLFE INTERVIEW
"Fast forward to January and Wolfe finds himself back in England for a TNA tour that will see him receive two shots at the TNA World Heavyweight title held by AJ Styles. He’s got a few problems though has Mr, Wolfe. “It’s miserable. Grey skies, rain and no offers of sex so far”..."

PROFESSIONAL DEBUT OF DARK KITTY!
"Little known to La Parka that happened to be the first kiss in Dark Kitty’s young life!..."

WWE DECADE IN REVIEW: 2000 TO 2004
"But the final nail in the coffin became official when on March 3 Paul Heyman debuted on Monday Night RAW as the colour commentator, while still wearing an ECW ball cap..."

BOGUS AWARDS: WHY YEAR END AWARDS ARE LESS THAN ACCURATE
"Until you have witnessed every good match that took place IN THE WORLD in 2009, then it’s difficult to fully justify voting for a match or performer as the best in 2009..."

UNDERTAKER VS SHAWN MICHAELS: PART 2
"Everyone wants to see another classic, but that is what constantly happens with sequels, they just doesn’t live up to the original that came before them..."

LACK OF DIVERSITY IN WWE
"The truth is that there isn’t a wrestler outside of the current main event scene that is capable of carrying the company..."

TO PG OR NOT TO PG
"Back when he was Cactus Jack in WCW, I loved him and his little ‘bang bangs’ yet what he became just spiralled out of control..."

THE IMPACT OF BRET HART
"The opening of Raw was one of the most heartfelt moments that WWE have presented in the past few years; it was something that nobody ever thought they would see, Hart and Michaels finally buried the hatchet...."

INTRODUCING TEAM BLOSSOM
"There have been some extremely talented people who have held the OVW Women’s Title, girls who we have enjoyed watching and learning from, so of course it’s an honour to have our names added to that list..."

DAVE MASTIFF PROFILE
“The facilities here at OVW are tremendous; people don’t appreciate facilities like this often. I certainly never had anything remotely similar when I started back in the UK.”

Read the full issue for FREE at www.thewrestlingpress.com

HIGH FIVE!!!

2010-02-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

Well, My Thought Process fans, we did it! We achieved a historic 5 votes, with fellow former GDHS attendee Lori Howe-Ronald weighing in on the future of my facial hair. And we still have about 15-16 hours for another vote to come in. Still...FIVE...5 VOTES!

(I can't refer to both Lori and I as fellow GDHS graduates since I actually graduated from West Elgin Secondary School. Wait, can I refer to us as Ekcoe Central School alumni?)

As they say on This Week in Baseball, how 'bout that?

Wow! Twice I types GDLS-C instead of GDHS until I caught myself. Now there's a title for an autobiography "From GDHS to GDLS".

So, as expected, I didn't get a whole lot accomplished today. I went into London with my Dad so he could check out tablesaws. I picked up Zombieland and watched it this afternoon. I really enjoyed it. It's definitely not something you want to watch over Sunday dinner (too much blood and guts) but it's funny and fun and there's quite a bit of heart to it when you're not looking.

My Dad and I are watching the Bud Shootout as I type this. Tony Stewart had just passed Carl Edwards (who is the Guest Host for Raw on Monday... Hey, if Stewart - or anyone else - wins, does he get to host Raw?) when there was a caution when Michael Waltrip spun out.

Hmm...I just realized that I have to come up with another poll topic for tomorrow? Any suggestions?

Weekend Plans

2010-02-05T17:26:00.000-08:00

Well, it's Friday and as I sit here watching Smackdown, I'm looking forward to getting a lot accomplished this weekend. Of course, I got into every weekend hoping to finally get my "To Do" list manageable, so as to move on to other projects. And every Sunday night, I realize I got almost nothing done. It's mostly because by Saturday at noon I've decided to just relax and take it easy. Oh well, perhaps this is the weekend things change.

I have the January update of Shelf Life pretty much finished, just have to post it, which I should be doing tomorrow morning. I have a couple of reviews to write for Shelf, and that will be accomplished over the weekend (fingers crossed). I want to set up my computer baseball season for 2010, and get some correspondance done. (I have a letter to my buddy, Chris, that I've been meaning to write since November.)

With this September marking the 25th anniversary of my being a wrestling fan (and how sad is it that I'm planning to mark it in some way?) I want to create a wrestling history-based website that commemorates the last 25 years of me being a fan. (Again, how sad is it that I would do something like that?)

The 2010 NASCAR Season gets underway with the Bud Shootout tomorrow night, so I'll be watching that with my Dad. I was kinda hoping Zombieland was going to be on OnDemand, but not yet. However, I'm thinking I might check out District 9, though, but probably on Sunday.

POLL UPDATE: 4 votes, 1 comment. Come on, fans, there's 24 hours (give or take) to get someone over here for the historic 5th vote.

The Horrible History of Thomas Jones

2010-02-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

The next writing project I'd like to embark on is a collection and update of some of the local history articles I've written over the years, for a book entitled "History In Our Own Back Yard".

As I've been going through my archives, I came across this story that sounds quite interesting, and so I thought I'd share it with you.

----------------

The Horrible History of Thomas Jones

Thomas Jones, of Delaware, Ontario, had quite a racket going during the days of the American Civil War. He would travel to Detroit to sign up for the Union Army and collecting the bounty that regiments offered. But once he had been paid that bounty, he would disappear back into Canada.

Jones’ story was, sadly, not a rare case, although, on one occasion, he once rounded up several members of the Oneida Nation to enlist, only to cheat the natives out of their bounty by pulling another disappearing act and leaving them to face angry American officials.

Jones did not emerge from his scheming unscathed, as he was caught during one attempt and sentenced to three years in jail for the crime. Quickly, however, Jones had a reputation as someone who would do anything, no matter how unethical.

In 1868, Jones disguised himself with a fake beard and undertook a scheme to rob the house of his own brother. After forcing his way into his brother’s home, he was undone when he was identified by his thirteen-year-old niece, Mary, who would later testify against her uncle.

Despite this, Mary’s mother would send her young daughter, against the better judgment of her husband, Henry, to Thomas Jones’ home. Forty-eight hours later, Mary’s body, with a fractured skull, was found a half mile away from that home.

Initially it was Elizabeth Jones, Thomas’ 13-year-old daughter, who was blamed for the murder. Elizabeth had threatened Mary’s life after the younger girl had implicated Thomas Jones in the robbery of Henry’s home. Even after it was determined that Elizabeth was not physically capable of inflicting the wounds that Mary suffered, Thomas would not confess, saying that he had only hidden the murdered girl’s body.

Elizabeth was sentenced to 10 years in a penitentiary after being found guilty of manslaughter. Angered by Jones’ attempt to use his daughter’s confession as an attempt to spare his own life, the jury showed no mercy on him, sentencing to hang on December 29th in what would be London’s last public execution.

Two hours before the execution, people began gathering in the courthouse square, despite the bitter cold conditions, and by 10:00, a crowd of 6000 (nearly half of London’s population at the time) had gathered. He professed his innocence to the end, asking only that God have mercy on him.

After his death by hanging, Jones’ wife would not accept his body. Dumped into a cheap casket, Jones’ remains were buried in an unmarked grave in a local cemetery.

A Boring Wednesday Posting

2010-02-03T17:44:00.000-08:00

Man! Yeah, this blog-a-day idea isn't so hot on days when not much is going on.

I will say that it's one of those days where I come home and decide to get some shh...stuff done. Not that I did a whole lot, save for writing to Kelly, the two Jays, working on the Shelf Life website update, reviewing Robert E. Lee by Noah Andre Trudeau, playing a little Making History 2.0: The Calm and The Storm (World War II strategy game) and am going to write an e-mail to Liz.

Yeah, other than that, a whole lotta nothing going on. Work was pretty steady today as I started to work on this week's issue of Lines of Defense. I had my Yearly Performance Review with my Area Manager, Shannon which went really well. Basically, she said I was doing a good job and I said "Yeah, but I want to improve and do better." I appreciated what she said and she appreciated what I said.

Okay gang, with three days to go (it might be two now depending on what time you're reading this) I have 4 (FOUR) votes in my poll. Call your friends and neighbours and let's see if we can get at least one more vote and make this the great John Milner Blog Poll EVER! (And no, I don't want any one voting twice just to make me feel better!)

By the way, I notice that the voting is for me to NOT grow my beard (or rather, a goatee right now) because it's never been a good look for me. However, the people at work are commenting on how good I look with the facial hair...

SO SCREW YOU ALL! THE CANADIAN DEFENCE INDUSTRY HAS SPOKEN!

And hey, I give Jason Kurn props for actually leaving me a comment somewhere around here. So that's 1 of the four people spoken for. Who are the rest of you stalkers?

(Oh wait, I'm the only stalker around here...isn't that right?)

My Head Hurts

2010-02-02T15:12:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning with a massive headache and called in sick, figuring I'd rather lose one day than try and drag myself through today and then feel like crap again tomorrow.

Won't make this a long entry, but I did want to note that, during Raw last night, they announced the passing of a WWE Hall of Famer and a beloved member of the WWE family. At first, I figured Jim Ross had passed, but instead it was former two-time NWA Champion Jack Brisco.

I know that few people know who read this know who Jack Brisco is, and even fewer probably care, but for that one random person who might stumble upon this blog and want to read more about Jack Brisco, I'll direct you to the WWE Hall of Fame's page: http://www.wwe.com/superstars/halloffame/inductees/jackbrisco/bio/

Meanwhile, I have a new favourite song in my head: Kevin Rudolf "I Made It". Yes, I'm actually listening to what amounts to a hip-hop tune. Once again, you associate it with wrestling (or movies or TV shows I enjoy) and I'll give it a listen.

The Story of My Sunday Night

2010-02-01T14:06:00.000-08:00

Despite a few last minute second-thoughts, I opted not to go to my former boss's retirement party. On Saturday night, I got thinking about it and I just couldn't foresee a scenario where I'd leave feeling glad I went.

I figured I'd go and be the only person from my "era" to be there, and spend the evening sitting by myself, watching the door for someone I knew to show up. Or I'd overhear stuff like "I can't believe he showed up!" Or I'd go there and I'd have to be reminded of something that still saddens me. (Or I'd end up making some snide remark about certain topics and feel like a jerk for doing so.)

Around 7:00, I was like "Damn...maybe I should just get ready and go", just to see who I would see and maybe catch up a little but, but figured by the time I washed my hair, shaved and got dressed, I'd have talked myself out of it again.

There's a part of me that wishes I went, and wishes Carmen well on his retirement. But there's a part of me that is thinking it's better I didn't.

In the end I stayed home and watched the Royal Rumble. It wasn't a bad Rumble, although there have been better (1988 and 1992 spring to mind). Just be glad I like C.M. Punk, otherwise his five or six minute stint of preaching, eliminating, preaching, eliminating would have gotten a thumbs down from me.

The Great Khali-Beth Pheonix elimination sequence was kinda cute. Michael's elimination of Triple H and his reaction after his own elimination certainly poses some questions that could be answered on Raw tonight.

And what's interesting is that earlier on in the evening, I was thinking "I wonder if Edge will make a suprise appearance?" Well, much like Cena a couple of years ago, there's Edge as not only a shocker of an entrant but the winner.

I actually thought the Rumble really got interesting after Michaels was eliminated. With him being the favourite (so as to face the Undertaker at Wrestlemania), once he was gone, it was Cena, Batista and Edge, and all seemed like they could win it and headline Wrestlemania.

I don't see Edge vs. Sheamus headlining Wrestlemania (although looking back, would you put King Kong Bundy in a Mania main event, even against Hogan?) so you gotta figure Edge will challenge the Undertaker. We have to assume DX will fall apart over the next couple of months...but what if it doesn't? Sure, the veering from Michaels - Taker II to Michaels-Triple H is the kind of swerve that proves "anything can happen" and keeps smarks and marks alike on their toes...

BUT..

Who's to say Undertaker is champion in two months? Who's to say Michaels doesn't cost the Undertaker the title at Elimination Chamber (or whatever the February pay-per-view is). Taker, good and pissed, is now only too happy to battle Michaels at Wrestlemania.

However, were I a betting man (and technically, as of a couple of weeks ago, I am - so I guess it's better to say "If you could bet on wrestling") I'd lay odds these are your key Wrestlemania matches:

Cena vs. Sheamus
Edge vs. Undertaker
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

But wait...(GASP!) whatever will become of poor Hornswaggle?

And just to have fun...here's your undercard

Randy Orton vs. Legacy
Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart (possibly with the Hart Dynasty involved)
Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show

Comment Update: So two people have taken the poll, but yet no one has left me any comments. I have to assume people just randomly stop by, take the poll, don't read a thing I write here and then move on.

Hmm..perhaps there are some interesting blog entries in my future.

The Daily Blog Begins (For How Long???)

2010-01-31T08:03:00.000-08:00

The people have spoken and...

they've confused the heck out of me.

Last week's poll was on the topic of whether or not I should stop waiting to write long essays, and instead have shorter entries on a daily basis. I had two votes. Both said that they liked the idea of a daily blog from yours truly. However, while one said they'd want a daily blog "but only if it's not 95% wrestling", the other said they'd want a daily blog "but only if it is 95% wrestling!".

So yeah, I'm not exactly sure how to move forward on this. Well, seeing as how I now watch less wrestling than I have in years (that is going to change, one of my New Year's Resolutions) I sincerely doubt I'll be talking wrestling 95% of the time.

It's Sunday morning, with me debating whether to go my former boss's retirement party, watching the Royal Rumble or catching a moving on OnDemand with my folks. Meanwhile I just watched 30 Rock on OnDemand, which would be a great feature on our cable if it didn't take me 10 minutes to tune it in. I hope it straightens itself out before it comes time to watch Zombieland.

Okay, I'm going to ask a huge favour of everyone who reads this...COMMENT. Even if you think I already know you read this, leave a comment. Even if it's just "I read your blog, shut up already...signed (STATE YOUR NAME)"

Please.

Why Don't You All Just FFFFF-ade Away!

2010-01-28T14:57:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago, I was finally able to pick up the "Pirate Radio" soundtrack. Two discs of songs from the mid-60s, most of which appear in the movie about...well, a pirate radio station during the mid-60s. (Oh, and there's a David Bowie tune "Let's Dance" tacked on at the end of Disc #2, not sure why since it's not from the era or the movie, but it's a good tune. Trivia: the late Stevie Ray Vaughn played guitar on the tune.)

Actually, Pirate Radio features a lot of great guitar heroes including Stevie Ray, Eric Clapton (as part of Cream on "I Feel Free"), Jimmy Page (session guitarist on the Kinks "All Day and All of the Night"), Jeff Beck (on "Hi Ho Silver Lining"), Jimi Hendrix (on "The Wind Cries Mary") and Pete Townsend (on the Who's "I Can See for Miles" and "My Generation").

It's the later guitarist, group and song I want to discuss here.

Have you ever really listened to the first half of My Generation? Not only does lead singer Roger Daltrey not really sound like himself, but who are the back-up singers? They sound like generic male singers, bearing no resemblance to the Who. One need only listen to the last 30 seconds of the song, as guitarist Pete Townsend repeats "Talkin' 'Bout My Generation" over and over again for reference. Unless bassist John Entwhistle and drummer Keith Moon completely drown out Townsend during the initial choruses, I wouldn't be suprised to learn that's not really the Who doing back-up vocals.

Anyone else want to weigh in on "Who" is singing background vocals on "My Generation"?

DVD and Poll Stats

2010-01-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

I've had a few people ask me about my DVD collection. Honestly, I don't know that it's all that big (that's what she said! Wait...probably shouldn't brag about that) but I figured I'd give you some stats...

50 Wrestling DVDS (plus an additional 33 titles on VHS)
11 War Movies
17 Action Movies
25 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Titles
10 Sports-Themed Movies (as in *61, Rocky, etc.)
17 Musicals (Both Movies and Documentary Types)
16 Dramas
41 Comedies/Romantic Comedies
50 TV on DVD titles
plus 52 VHS titles
--------
for a grand total of 322 movies - And yet I'm still thinking "Man, there's nothing to just toss on the TV while I'm working around the house.")

Speaking of stats....
This week's poll had the BEST response since I started this blog. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, 4 (FOUR!) people responded to my poll about what upcoming event that I am looking forward to that you are looking forward to as well.

The Olympics and the Royal Rumble were left out in the cold, but all one of you (and I know it's you Kelly) was looking forward to the next new episode of the Office...and after this past week's clip episode, I'm STILL looking for the next actual episode.

And then there were three of you who answered "None of the Above"...but hey! at least you were honest and at least you responded. That's really all I'm asking for, some acknowledgement that you stopped by.

Surviving Nightmares

2010-01-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

I've never been a deeply religious person in the most traditional sense. I've been told I'm not a true Christian. My grieving parents were told that my sister, dead just before her eighth birthday, was not in heaven because she hadn't been "born again" and given her life to Jesus.

But still, I believe in God, although there have been times when I have found myself angry at His actions. Why was this happening? What had I done to deserve this? But over the past few days, I have realized that the old saying about God working in mysterious ways holds true.

Like an addict, who always believed his next hit would erase all his ills, I spent years clawing my way towards another chance to "get high". No matter what anyone, not even my own inner voice, told me about getting past this and moving on with my life, I didn't want to listen. They were wrong. They didn't know what I'd been through; they didn't know how happy I could eventually be once things fell into place and besides what else did I have to move on to?

And so months and years passed, and with every roadblock placed in my way, ever time, I see now, God tried to direct me down a different path, I fought against it. I tried to figure out what I could do to get past these obstables. What one thing I needed to do that would reverse all the setbacks. I figured, I had been fighting for so long, certainly I would get my just reward.

But the obstacles mounted, the roadblocks increased. Sometimes there would be a stretch of open road and I thought perhaps this might be the path to happiness. But then I'd hit another roadblock, and I was all the more frustrated.

Along the way, I got angry at the world, alienated people, pushed friends away as I tried to dive into the darkness. I got down on my knees and begged God to just let me have one chance, just let me be with this one person. I promised Him I would be a better person, that I would do whatever I could to make my world and that of those around me a better place.

It was only when I hit rock bottom, with no chance of reconcilliation, that I could clearly see the road I was on. As painful as it is to look back at the past, it's like Johnny Nash once sang "I Can See Clearly Now". I can see that road was a dead-end path, heaved in the wrong direction.

And with each passing day, I realize that hitting rock bottom, that living out the worst nightmare reality imaginable, just might be the best thing that could have happened. To put that addiction metaphor to use again, it's like an addict waking up from a bad trip, and realizing there's no crack, no meth, no marijuana, no speed, no pills, no alcohol...hell, not even a bottle of aspirin to be had.

Before this, whenever I'd hit what would seem an obstacle, I'd get upset, curse my luck...but then I'd start thinking of an option, a possibility, a way back. This time, there is no way back, no solution, no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no magic e-mail to be sent, no phone call that will undo what has happened. One person has made up their mind about another, firmly and permanently, and and that other must live with it.

But having no recourse in the matter has forced me to do exactly what so many friends told me I shoul do: move on. I'm not waiting by the computer for a Facebook message that will never come. I'm not waiting for phone calls to be returned. Instead, I've turned my attention towards trying to patch up some friendships, enrich those that remained, and have renewed my search for that special someone, that someone who will let me prove the kind of person I can truly be.

Don't take this blog as some kind of declaration that all is wonderful with me on this particular subject. I may flippantly say this nightmare was the best thing to happen to me, but there's an element of BS in there.

I am still saddened that a seven-plus year friendship (which was the most important part of the relationship to me), and a five-year fight to maintain that friendship has ended. I realize that I am not totally blameless. I made mistakes, mistakes I wish I could correct, be able to apologize for, be forgiven for. There will always be moments in my life I'll regret not being able to share with her, and times I wish we could have remained friends. And, I will admit, there have been moments over the course of the last week where I wonder if I couldn't extend an olive branch somehow. But I realize, with a heavy heart though I do, that to do so might just invite the opportunity for me to put my life on hold again until I could be with her.

I can go forward, looking back only to shake my head at how wrong I was, and how long I tried to deny what everyone else was telling me. But as I said, there are some positives to come out of this. For the first time in five years, I feel free. Free to move on with my life. Free to think about other things than the latest setback or the weeks or even months since I had last heard anything.

As I go forward, I don't have to look back, save to remember the type of person I wanted to be, and the type of person I feel I can be.

When the day comes for me to be that person, I'll be ready.

Love, Loss and Learning

2010-01-10T18:49:00.001-08:00

When I was 22 years old, I lost my best friend in a car accident. The first thing I thought of when I heard the news was that I would never be able to tell her how I felt. I had always told myself that if I ever developed feelings for someone, I would tell them, because I had always assumed it would be better to know one way or the other, than having to face a lifetime of "what ifs".

Time and circumstance now reveal that I was better off not telling her how I felt. I've made peace with the fact that she loved me. Whether romantically or not, that I will never know...but at least I know she loved me as a friend, and for that knowledge I am grateful. All of my memories of her are pure, and not tainted by what might have transpired if I had revealed my feelings for her.

Earlier tonight, I found out that I'd lost another friend, someone I really cared about. As it turns out, I really lost this friend over five months ago, after getting made at her for not telling me something I had to find out on Facebook...and after I told her something she already knew, that I was still in love with her. (I had told her five years ago, then watched her get married to someone she knew was not right for her...but I guess it was better than being with me.)

After I apologized to her, she told me everything was fine, and she'd contact me in a week or so. Instead, she decided to wash her hands of her friendship with me...and just not bother to tell me, leaving me to agonize over what was transpiring between us for five and a half months.

I'm not sure what made her decide to end the friendship more: the fact I had gotten upset with her or the fact I told her I was still in love with her. Either way, I was made to feel as though it was my fault that she had ended our friendship.

UPDATE: Given 24 hours to mull the situation over, I decided not to take down this blog, or leave Facebook. I realize now the person who made me feel this way wasn't worth it. I'm still saddened that a seven year friendship was destroyed because she couldn't forgive me for one mistake, when she had forgiven others for a lot more. But that was her choice, and the only regret is I didn't see her for who she was sooner.

As for a romantic relationship, I am still very interested in pursuing one with the right person. I'm not perfect, but I feel that I am a very caring person, who would like to find someone to be friends with, before moving on to becoming more than friends. (So if anyone has any single, female friends...)

How Wrong I Was

2009-12-30T05:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, the f***? Why is it I can go a month with no updates...and then suddenly I'm an updating machine here? Of course, one could argue, quite correctly, that I'm pretty much phoning it in on the content here, and taking advantage of the Year End subject matter.

For example, this particular update I'm stealing from my old Vox Blog where, last January, I (semi-jokingly) made my predictions for what my Facebook statuses (stati?) would be over the course of 2009. Let's see how close I was.

->John is wondering about having a joint 40th birthday/Jack’s 1st birthday party. Is six months long enough for people to get their excuses for not showing in?

Well...I did try and have a birthday party of my own. Of course, by the time mid-July rolled around, I didn't feel much like celebrating. Maybe I'll do better when and if I plan my "25th Annversary of Being A Wrestling Fan".

->John is breaking in his new laptop. New technology is fun.

I did get a new laptop and once I got used to it, it's worked out pretty well. (He says just before Windows Vista crashes!)

->John is kiddin’ his Dad over how Tony Stewart finally won Daytona.

Matt Kenseth won. Odds are Dad and I will both be cheering Mark Martin this Valentine's Day.

->John wonders what Wrestlemania XXVI will be like with no Undertaker streak to talk about. (Sorry, but I was cheering for Shawn Michaels the whole time.)

Turns out, not only did Undertaker retain the streak, but I didn't even watch Wrestlemania.

->John wonders if he did a good but not great action movie and then OD’d if he’d get an Oscar, too.

Yeah, Heath Ledger won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Considering Robert Downey Jr. was also nominated for Tropic Thunder in the same category, it wasn't exactly a strong year. Still want to know why, when actors OD, it's a tragedy. When wrestlers OD, it's a commentary on how screwed up the industry is.

->John can now reveal that U.S. President Barack Obama visited GDLS-C this morning and I got to shake his hand.

And now I can reveal that...Obama never came within 50 miles of London, much less GDLS-C. Some Saudi Prince did, though. I still figure if Harper can come to the plant, Obama can.

->John is sad that Corner Gas has ended…but loved the finale.

I was sad to see Corner Gas finish, but the finale was pretty good.

->John can’t believe that’s how the Office season finale ended. Can’t Pam and Jim just be happy for once? It’s a comedy, not a romantic drama.

The season finale of the Office was fun, and Pam and Jim were very happy. Not too sure about Season 6, mind you, but Niagara was good.

-> John can’t believe Canada has called another election. Is this going to be a yearly thing now?

There was no election this year...although they hinted at it over the summer. So I was close.

->John just turned 40. If anyone needs me, I’ll be sitting here with a gun in my mouth.

I turned 40. I did not sit around with a gun in my mouth. As I recall, I spent much of it hanging out with my family, so that was a pretty nice way to spend my birthday.

->John needs people to know he was kidding about the whole "gun in my mouth thing".

I think even if I had jokingly posted the "gun in my mouth" thing, I would have had to post the above retraction.

->John joins the rock world in mourning the death of Keith Richards…about 15 years after he expected it to happen.

Keith Richards is STILL alive. Turns out it was Michael Jackson who died. As I believe I mentioned to some when it happened...kind of shocking until you really sat down and thought about it.

->John is intrigued to note his friend’s list just topped 200. Do I actually know 200 people?

Actually, I ended up editing a LOT of my friends list, to the point, I went from something like 160 to 60. Sorry for those I cut, but a lot were people I never really heard from anyways. To be honest, I could probably whittle that list down to 20 people, and still not be sure what's keeping me on Facebook.

->John is having an Office marathon to prepare for the Season 6 season premiere.

I didn't have an Office marathon, but I do recall watching some of Seasons 4 and 5.

->John can’t believe it’s a Brewers – Twins World Series.

And the reason I couldn't believe it, because it didn't happen. The Yankees defeated the Phillies in a match of one team that's won 546 World Series titles against last year's winners.

->John is heading to Best Buy to get the China Beach DVD.

Sadly, my favourite 1980s TV drama about medical staff in Vietnam still has yet to make it to DVD. I do have all the episodes on VHS from when they aired them on History Television back in 2002.

->John wants everyone to go to their local book store and grab a copy of his book.

Of all the things on this list that didn't happen, this is the one I regret the most. I will say, however, I sent out quite a few queries to agents (to no avail) and over the holidays, I've gathered up a list of agents that I will be contacting over New Year's weekend. And having read Nick Hornby's Juliet, Naked on Christmas Day, I have an idea for another novel. Perhaps 2010 will be the year I get published.

Come back soon for my "predictions" and resolutions for 2010.

Top of the Decade

2009-12-29T15:26:00.001-08:00

As the last week of the year plays itself out, it's time for everyone to start posting their "Best of" lists. With this being the final year of the first decade of this new century/millenium (I'll refer to it as such because there's no easy way to i.d. it otherwise, like the 80s or 90s), it's even more imperative to do some kind of "Best of the Decade" list.

As I'll get into later, this wasn't an easy decade for me to create any kind of "Best of" list. I wasn't out buying albums so there's not much of an opportunity to do a "Best of Albums". I picked up Avril Lavigne, Coldplay, Springsteen, the Killers and a mess of soundtracks, but the rest of what eventually made its way into my IPod were just singles picked up here and there of stuff I heard on the radio or in movie trailers.

There were times when my movie-going habits were strong, such as when I was working at Your Village News or when I was dating Angela, but before, in between and after, it fell right off. I guess that has a lot to do with (a) I was living in Glencoe, an hour away from the closest theatre and (b) quite often I come out of the theatre with a migraine.

Still, I managed to come up with several "Best of" lists for your perusal, discussion, response.

John's Top 15 Movies of the Decade
1. World Trade Center
2. Almost Famous
3. The Wrestler
4. Gods and Generals
5. Walk the Line
6. Clerks II
7. High Fidelity
8. A Lot Like Love
9. Men With Brooms
10. Fever Pitch
11. We Were Soldiers
12. Fahrenheit 9/11
13. Cloverfield
14. Once
15. SuperBad

John's Top 10 TV Shows of the Decade:
1. The Office
2. Corner Gas
3. The Gilmore Girls
4. Generation Kill
5. The Big Bang Theory
6. Wonderfalls
7. American Dreams
8. The Job
9. How I Met Your Mother
10. Undeclared/Freaks and Geeks

(Note: I know, you're like "Where's the Sopranos? Lost? Survivor? American Idol? 24?" Sorry, this is the list of shows I actually watched!)

John's Top 5 Soundtracks He Bought of the Decade:
1. American Dreams
2. Almost Famous
3. Walk the Line
4. Fever Pitch
5. Across the Universe

(Note: Yeah...totally figured there'd be more on that list. It may be something I revisit later!)

John's Top 10 Wrestlers of the Decade:
1. Triple H
2. John Cena
3. Shawn Michaels
4. Kurt Angle
5. A.J. Styles
6. Edge
7. Undertaker
8. Chris Jericho
9. Randy Orton
10. Batista

(Note: It's suprising just how lame that last list was. Ironically, I'm more inspired to make my own Top 25 Favourite Wrestlers of All Time list for the upcoming 25th Anniversary of me becoming a wrestling fan, which takes place on September 25th,2010. (Mark Your Calendars!!!!)

There may be more coming, but I'll leave you with those for now. Feel free to post your own lists, take me to task on my picks, suggest other lists...just friggin' comment already!

We're In the News

2009-12-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

I know...I know...I haven't blogged in over a month and when I come back, it's just to post a couple of links.

December 2009 started off crappy, got busier than heck, had some good times tossed in towards the end, and through it all, while I had the desire to write (and even the topics to write about) I just couldn't get myself in the mood to write. Tell you what, maybe I'll live blog Raw tonight and toss in some tidbits...or maybe I'll just live-blog Raw.

Anyways, one of the big deals around work is our annual United Way Campaign. Much like last year, we made a pretty substantial contribution. Unlike last year, however, the Londoner used one of my photos in its piece about local companies donating to the United Way. Follow this link:

http://www.thelondoner.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2232753

and then where it says "More Photos" click on the second one from the top. (If you put your cursor over it, it should mention GDLS.) Ironically, it's not as good a photo as appeared in our own Lines of Defense. Alan Abley, the gentleman with the Santa-like beard, has this weird look on his face, so I photoshopped his head in from one of the other shots I took, for the LOD pic.

And on the front page of today's London Free Press, there is an article on our company. Not really anything earth-shattering, just a general overview. I guess if you want to know more about the company I work for, here's where you go:

http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2009/12/28/12281986-sun.html

Bang With A Vengeance - Phones, 80s, 60s, Christmas

2009-11-24T16:16:00.001-08:00

Sigh!

How friggin' sad is it that I got more response to my "What's your opinion of Hogan going to TNA?" than I have in five-plus days of asking people what the best part of the 80s was?

Come on, I'd guess that 96% of the people I assume read this had never even heard of TNA. The fact that my one response was "What is TNA?" backs that up, but at least whoever it was who responded had the gumption to admit that. Now, I'm stuck assuming everybody (save one reader) who reads this knows exactly what I'm talking about when I talk about wrestling, meaning this blog will slowly, but surely sink into non-stop wrestling articles.

Come on, this is a survey about the 1980s. Everybody loves the 80s right? Come on, it was the era of Molly Ringwald, Ronald Reagan, Mr. T, Bill Cosby, Alf, Duran Duran and Boy George.

It was the era when we thought the Russians were morons for having troops in Afghanistan while Americans were landing troops in Grenada and Beirut, and planning to go to war with Libya, Iran, Russia, and any other country that looked at them funny.

It was the era when people she-bopped along to songs about masterbation and Paul Hardcastle proved you COULD make a dance tune out of the dialogue of a Vietnam War documentary. It was a time when every horror movie being made today was actually dreamed up.

Those were the days when we all assumed we'd die in a nuclear war within the year, and decided to make the fashions of the 70s look respectable by comparison.

I'm not sure what my point was there, so we'll move on.

So my folks and I switched cell phone providers recently, save that we still haven't gotten new cell phones. Here's the thing, there's exactly ONE half-way decent cell phone that my folks would be comfortable using, and despite them having the phone on display every time we go in, apparently they're out of stock across the entire universe.

See my folks are pretty picky when it comes to cell phones. They want one that they can actually use to make phone calls with, with decent sized buttons. They don't want to take photos or text or download MP3s or surf the Net or send e-mails or store every bit of information they have on it.

They want a phone...to make phone calls, and with relative ease. You wouldn't think that'd be such a difficult task.

I went to see "Pirate Radio" on Saturday night, which was a lot less of a hassle than I expected. First of all, my Dad and I went to Masonville and I was a little put off by the fact there was barely a parking spot to be had and there was a mass of people congregated around the entrance of the theatre.

We did find a parking spot and then found out that these people were en route out of the theatre but, rather than going home or anywhere else for that matter, they decided to just kinda hang around the entrance. (Maybe it's me but when I leave a theatre, I...you know...leave the theatre!!!)

The line-up to get tickets was almost non-existance, as most people were using the automated ticket dispenser thingy (see, modern technology is good for something!). However, once we got our tickets, we had to wade through what must have been about a couple of hundred people are just stationed outside the entrance to the individual theatres. I do see some sort of a semblance of a line, but Dad and I waded forward to the actual ticket-taking usher, where I expected we'd be told to trudge back to the end of the line.

Instead, he took our ticket and we made our way down the hallway to the theatres. (Later I realized the line or what passed for one...this was frickin' Masonville, after all, where people assume the signs for handicapped parking is actually code for "Hey dude! Walkin's for Losers! This spots for you!"...was for Twilight. )

So, despite what appeared to be a lot of roadblocks, my Dad and I made it in to see "Pirate Radio" and wonder of wonders, my Dad enjoyed it. (I liked it, too!) There's one scene where Philip Seymour Hoffman (who, despite what the trailer may suggest, isn't necessarily the star of this ensemble piece) talks about how these were the greatest days of their lives.

As we walked out of the theatre, my Dad turned to me and said that indeed the 60s were the best of times, especially when it came to the music and cars. I decided to let my Dad have his moment and not cynically discuss how the 60s also included Vietnam, the assassinations of both Robert and John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King and any number of Civil Rights leaders, segregation, the Cuban Missile Crisis, CIA wire-tapping, the drug-related deaths of most of the major rock superstars, Altamont, Charles Manson, etc, etc.

(And at least in our generation, politicians at least have the decency to lie about why their countries were becoming involved in cockamamy foreign excursions. Bush at least had the forethought and put in the effort to make up a lie about WMDs and ties between Hussein and Al-Qaeda. In the 60s, the U.S government just said "We're going to Vietnam!")

But while I would suggest about 5% of the movie has any ties to the reality of what happened on those pirate radio stations of the mid-60s, Pirate Radio is really enjoyable and yes, it's primarily because of the soundtrack, which of course I can't find anywhere in London now.

I think I now know why so many people shop on-line. Rather than drive all over to find out the item you want is either sold out, or not even sold in most stores, you can just surf to Amazon, Chapters or even the chain stores on-line sites and purchase it that way. Sure you can't browse as much and find other things you want but (a) that's one easy way to save money spent on impulse buys and (b) you're not spending time and gas driving around to umpteen different stories looking for the one item you went out for in the first place.

And speaking of the shopping experience, when I was in the mall looking for the soundtrack to Pirate Radio, I was walking around and heard that most dreadful of all sounds...the first notes of Christmas music in the mall. Yeah, doesn't matter what my situation, Christmas music always makes me cringe!

Just be thankful (and it is American thanksgiving soon, after all) I don't decide to publish my "alternate versions" of popular Christmas songs. (Hey, when your boss subjects you to a Christmas season's worth of a CD made up of 18 versions of Winter Wonderland, your mind does whatever it takes for self-preservation. Let's just say, as a wrestling fan, I toyed with that whole "you can do the job when you're in town" portion of the song!)

R.I.P. Joe

2009-11-17T15:06:00.001-08:00

This morning, I heard that Joe Strangio, a long-time employee of GDLS-C, had passed away.

Joe was a good man, the likes the world can't afford to lose. Whenever work took me by his area of the plant, or if I ran into him somewhere, he always smiled and said "Hi" and asked me how I was doing. I suppose my typical conversation with Joe lasted less than a couple of minutes, but it somehow managed to brighten my day just a little bit. I think if you asked most people who knew Joe, they'd say the same thing.

Joe was one of those guys for whom work wasn't just somewhere he showed up to. He was always looking to make our plant a better place, being involved in several committees. But really, one could argue he succeeded, just by being himself.

I'll miss Joe. Not for just what he tried to do but what he did without trying.

My Thoughts on Hogan and TNA

2009-11-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

You almost had me there.

Within 24 hours of posting a wrestling-related poll, I had more responses that similar polls about Balloon Boy and the same amount of responses as the one I did about favourite movie franchises. So I guess my faithful readers care just as much about wrestling as they do about movies...and from the number of comments I've received, they care more about wrestling polls than they do about anything I write here.

Okay, I kid! I kid! I'm sure that people care about what I write here, so let's get down to some of that writing.

But one more poll-related paragraph: it was a tie in terms of who you readers believed was the greatest Intercontinental Champion of the 1980s. Both Randy Savage and the man who defeated him, Ricky Steamboat, received a vote.

As much as I enjoyed Steamboat's work, I have to give the nod to Savage over the Dragon in terms of great Intercontinental Champions. In fact I believe Steamboat was one of those wrestlers who made a better challenger than champion. His chase of Savage for the I-C title was a classic, and his match for the strap at Wrestlemania III remains one of the greatest matches of all time (IMODO). Once he became champion, he decided he needed some time off, and so they had him drop the belt to the Honky Tonk Man.

As much as Steamboat's reign as NWA World Champion two years later was just as short as his Intercontinental Championship reign, I believe it was head and shoulders above, due mostly because of his series against Flair. Of course, one could argue that the fans' reaction to Flair's drive to regain the title helped turn Flair face (while doing nothing to diminish Steamboat's relationship with the fans), a turn solidified by Terry Funk's post-match attack after Flair regained the title at Music City Showdown.

Sorry, I'm in a wrestling mode, watching Smackdown as I type this. No matter what the WWE is doing, the big news has to be Hulk Hogan's arrival in TNA. I'm not usually one to echo the baa's of the sheep of the IWC, but my opinion more or less incorporates both trains of thoughts, both the major and the minor.

Yeah, I'm sure that Hogan in TNA will provide the organization with a brief boost of popularity. People will tune in to see Hogan's arrival and initial impact. If Ric Flair, as heavily rumoured, follows him into the Impact Zone, the interest in TNA will increase that much more.

And that's nothing to compared to the buzz rumours of other Hogan compatriots will create surrounding TNA, and the speculation of the impact that those incoming stars will have.

However, how long that interest will remain and how long that impact will be positive is the key question in the short and long term future of TNA. As much as I was a major Hulkamaniac back in the 1980s and as much as Ric Flair remains my favourite wrestler of all time, I don't relish the idea of seeing either man tarnish (or, some might argue, further tarnish) their reputations and legacies in the industry.

And while Hogan in TNA might be the contemporary version of Mr. T or Mike Tyson (something to get people to initially tune in to allow other workers - in this case Samoa Joe, Daniels, A.J. Styles or Kurt Angle - to provide reasons to continue to tune in) and provide a short term boost to TNA, I would argue (as many Smarks have) his presence in the organization, especially if he and travelling partner Eric Bischoff are giving booking duties, could be the undoing of what many people hoped would be viable competition for WWE.

Not only is Hogan (to say nothing of Flair, and whoever else decides to ride Hogan's coat-tails to the top of TNA) too damn old to be main eventing anything but a one-shot nostalgia show, he's never proven himself to be someone who could put the best interests of the business or the company he works for.

The much-maligned World Championship Wrestling has been out of business for nearly nine years, long enough, it would seem, for some to forget the mess that company became with Hogan and Bischoff at the helm. Hogan had one singular purpose: to do what was best for Hogan. There were times in the mid-to-late 1990s where WCW had less to do with promoting solid wrestling and more to do with feeding Hogan's egos and those of his friends.

WCW would eventually lose most of their best workers (a young Steve Austin, Malenko, Jericho, Guerrero, that Canadian guy...what was his name again???) because they grew tired of being passed over in favour of Hogan and his buddies like Duggan, Nash, Sags, Goldberg, and the NWO.

When WCW tired of Hogan, he took his ball and while he didn't go home, he continued to try and be the center of attention, toying with stints in TNA, WWE and even going so far as to open his own wrestling companies, figuring if he was the boss, who could tell him "No"?

In the end, fans tired of WCW, and in the end, one must wonder what the TNA landscape after a year or two with Hogan and Bischoff at the helm? Will Joe, Styles, Daniels be WWE bound? Will guys like the Motor City Machine Guns and the Amazing Red be heading to Ring of Honor, or jobbing to Brutus Beefcake while the announcers gush over whatever version of the NWO runs rampant? Will X Division title matches be replaced with Hulk Hogan promos?

Sadly, as much as this all sounds like just some smark rambling found on message boards, the truth is probably closer to the doomsayers than the TNA press releases making it sound like Hogan is the saviour of the company and the industry as a whole. Hogan is not the catalyst for TNA to finally compete on the same level as the WWE.

Instead, for Hogan, this is just an easy payday. After a messy divorce and his son's incarcertion, Hogan wants to go somewhere that people will fawn over him, stroke his ego, and add a World Championship or half-dozen to his resume.

For TNA, on the other hand, Hogan is just a desperate attempt to get a major name to draw in a major audience. What Dixie Carter and the rest of the TNA brass don't seem to realize is that it's only the casual or old-time wrestling fan who will be fooled into believing this is a big deal, and most don't care enough about the business at this point in its history to tune in to see Hogan.

(There is the arguement that TNA's young talent, like the aforementioned Styles, Daniels, Joe, Guns and the X Division, could be enough to keep them tuning in, but said talent has been sadly mis-booked for some time now. If TNA had a Heyman or Cornette at the helm, that might change. Bischoff, it was proven couldn't, and Hogan wouldn't book the high-flying cruiserweight-type talent of the X Division if his life depended on it.)

The modern day wrestling fans, much smaller in number than what they nor Vince McMahon want to admit are already united in their distrust of Hogan's presence in TNA. While they may follow the future happenings in TNA, they'll do so from a distance or the same way most people will view a car wreck. They may slow down to see how gory it is, but then they'll speed away.

Thank You

2009-11-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

~~~

R.I.P.

Lt. Justin Boyes, 3rd Battalion, Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry

Sapper Steven Marshall, 1 Combat Engineer Regiment

With you, go the thanks of a grateful nation.

~~~

This And That

2009-10-19T14:41:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and you know what that means!

But just to mix things up a little bit, instead of simply tossing out the results of the past week's poll, I decided to write a rather short Random Thoughts column.

I haven't read too much about it, but headlines on several websites tell me South Park is going to have a wrestling-themed episode. I might be excited if I hadn't written a wrestling-themed South Park episode...in 1998!!!! Believe it or not, I even contacted the company that produces South Park about what was involved in submitting said script, only to get semi-politely told to go F' myself because they weren't interested.

Ironically, I have never watched another episode of South Park since (although I did see the movie when it hit theatres). It wasn't a conscious thing but I think it had something to do with the creators (Trey and Matt something) doing a lot of interviews about how they had to sneak in the backdoor of Hollywood. Nice of the two of them to slam the door shut on the rest of us.

Not that I'm bitter or anything. (Well, I am, but that's another post for another time.) But just to toot my own horn for a second, does anyone else here think 1998 was a much more appropriate year in which to make a wrestling-themed episode of South Park than 2009?

Just sayin'.

USA Today's Pop Candy website questioned as to whether last week's episode of The Office, entitled "Mafia" was the worst ever. (http://content.usatoday.com/communities/popcandy/post/2009/10/last-nights-office-worst-episode-ever/1)

I would suggest that, while not the absolute worst ever, Mafia definitely reminded me of some of the bleaker episodes of Season 3 (and even the odd time in 4 and 5), when the writers seemed to put Pam and Jim on the back burner and instead sent Michael spinning off into an endless series of misadventures, each more uncomfortable than the last. The whole interaction between Michael/Dwight/Andy and the insurance salesman/suspected mobster kinda left me cold. During the scene at the restaurant, I found myself wondering "I wonder what they're doing back at the Office."

But what saved the episode for me was Kevin and his misuse of Jim's office, which led to Kevin accidentally getting Jim's credit card cancelled. I think Brian Baumgartner's Kevin is one of the unsung heroes of the show. He doesn't get a lot of screen time, compared to the Dwights and Michaels of the show, but he definitely puts what time he does get to good use. (Having said that, I think Kevin's character is one that is best used in small doses.)

Take away the Kevin subplot and Mafia certainly loses a lot. Of course, coming off one of the best episodes of the series in Niagara, almost any episode is going to pale in comparison. Which reminds me, I should have an Office marathon spread over several days, and compile my "All Time Office Episode Ranking".

And turning our attention from a faux reality series to a shameless attempt to get a "real" reality series, anyone else finding that perhaps this whole "Balloon Boy" sham should, once and for all, show the TV industry that their reliance on giving anybody who even remotely passes for a D-level celebrity their own TV show is perhaps NOT a good thing.

And I don't see where there's a debate over whether or not this was a staged event. When the kid basically turns to his father and, in response to the question of why didn't the kid tell someone where he was, answered (and I'm not 100% accurate but I'm thinking I'm close) "You told me not, too, because of the show."

The real tragedy is, due to these morons trying to get what my Dad calls "their fifteen minutes of fame" some area farmer's field was torn up by all these rescue trucks racing to follow an empty balloon. And if there's one thing that never changes no matter what the economy is like, and that's farmers always having a tough go of it. Why doesn't TLC or whatever do a show on how a farming family struggles to survives day to day? I'd certainly think that'd be more compelling than "Balloon Boy". Although if his moronic family tried some stupid publicity stunt that made them the laughing stock of an entire nation EVERY week, I might tune in an episode or two.

Actually, I should use my poll this week to...well, poll, my readers (all two of you, apparently) on their opinions of this whole Balloon Boy "controversy". Although, I have to be honest, I figured my "What's Your Favourite Movie Franchise?" poll was user-friendly enough to have brought in record numbers (i.e. 4) of votes. Instead, I got two votes: one for Rocky and another for Indiana Jones. (What? No Star Wars? No Godfather?)

Okay, one more user-friendly poll. If I don't top the four vote mark this week, it's "Who was your favourite Intercontinental Champion of the 1980s?" (The Honky Tonk Man will clean up, right?)

Okay, I kid about going hardcore wrestling on you, but please, VOTE. I like it when people vote because it's a tangible measure that people are reading my blog. (Alternatively, you could just drop me a comment about something I've written here...or better yet...VOTE AND COMMENT! It's what all the cool kids are doing these days!)

Speaking of wrestling, I can't sign off without sending out R.I.P. to Captain Lou Albano, who died this past week. And for those who remember 78-year-old Captain Lou, I think I speak for all of us when I say, obviously this is yet another in a long-line of steroid abuse-related deaths that continues to plague pro wrestling.

Do a google image search on "Lou Albano" and you'll see what I mean.

But rather than look at the bad side, I will leave you with a link to remember Lou by:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJNrsNe54AE

Poll Results

2009-10-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

Over the past week, “The Life and Times of John M. Milner” poll had a record four (4) responses. Too bad that was split between two separate polls. For those who are waiting with baited breath for the results, here goes:

- The Red Sox - 0
- The Yankees - 1
- The Phillies – 0
- The Cardinals – 0
- The Blue Jays – 0
- None of the Above – 0
- I don't watch baseball – 0

Out of deference to my friend (and basically the only person I converse with about baseball) Lyz De Marco, the sentimental favourite (of those teams that made the playoffs) for this blog were the Red Sox, but with Boston the surprise losers to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, the Yankees are now the official pick of “The Life and Times of John M. Milner”. (Because I like the Yankees....Sadly, the poll results have nothing to do with that.)

This past weekend was Thanksgiving here in Canada and so I offered up a poll about what people’s plans were. Here are those results.

- spend time with my family, giving thanks for all my blessings -1
- Watching sports (playoff baseball, hockey, football) - 0
- Two words: Office Marathon! - 0
- I have to work - 0
- Thanksgiving is in November! – 2

To be honest, my pick would have been some combination of the first and third choices. I did watch a bit of the Office, but I ended up having a mini-marathon of Chuck Season 1, having picked that up on the super-cheap from Blockbuster a couple of weeks ago.

And so, with it being Monday comes another poll, this one inspired by something my friend Kelly was talking about on her Facebook page. Hopefully this is the week we get a whole 5 responses. (Dare to dream...I know!)

The Outpost: A Short Story

2009-10-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I had this dream. Basically, it's the last few paragraphs of this story. On the ride into work that morning, I started to kinda brainstorm the rest. I've been meaning to sit down and write the dream as a short story and well, tonight was the night. It's a bit dark in terms of tone and content but I hope you enjoy it.

The Outpost
A short story by John M. Milner

The place we inhabited was officially called “Forward Observation Station Delta”. Someone, many rotations ago, had tried to make light of the situation by calling it “the Igloo”. Neither Barnes nor I had much of a sense of humour, so we just referred to it as “this F’N Place”.Despite what some might think, This F’N Place wasn’t in the middle of nowhere. The most northerly edge of Nowhere was about 50 miles south of here. If we ever got a furlough, a two-day pass, we might just have time to get back to Nowhere for a couple of hours getting drunk or plowed before we had to head back.

On a clear night, though, we could see the lights of Nowhere, out there, tempting us, mocking us for being stuck out here. We’d get transmissions from Nowhere, wanting a status report. We’d watch their news reports on the black and white TV, envious of their crime reports and civic battles over taxation.

Barnes and I had been posted to Delta because of past transgressions, our punishment being to sit in front of a computer screen and watch for green blips that might come our way. Barnes never told me what he did, and I never told him I had slept with my former commanding officer, who just happened to be married to HIS commanding officer’s daughter. He lost out on a promotion; I was sent here. I’m sure somewhere someone thought that was a fair trade.

Barnes and I always kept our distance from each other. He didn’t like me. I don’t like him. Well...that wasn’t true. I didn’t care for him one way or the other. He didn’t like me after I returned his rather amorous advances with a kick that raised his voice several octaves.

And so, we passed our time in relative silence, staring at the screen, watching for blips that were never likely to appear. About once a season (or what would have passed as a season back in the world) something “exciting” might happen. Of course, something exciting was usually a lost airliner flying over our airspace, or some officer deciding he should stop in for an inspection.

But for the most part, Barnes and I would sit staring at the computer screen, trying to figure out how we could stay awake until it was our turn to sleep. Days and weeks and months would pass, each one indistinguishable from the last.

Until one day, everything changed.

The blips appeared. First one, a loner we were set to write-off as another strayed airliner, or a glitch in the system. It wasn’t fear we felt, but frustration, aggravation. Maybe relief that re-routing the airliner or fixing the glitch gave us something to do. We knew we’d fight over who got to do what. The winner got to fill out the report. The loser got to sit and stare at the once-again blank screen.

But then another appeared.

And another. And another.

By the time the third one appeared, Barnes was on the phone, send the message up the chain of command. I kept expecting him to hang up in disgust, to turn to me and tell me it was a drill, just something to keep us on our toes.

We were the joke of the entire Early Warning System, so neither of us would have been surprised to learn it was just some prank designed to humiliate us.

But when Barnes hung up the phone, the look on his face told me this was no joke, no prank.

A voice that was neither Barnes’ nor mine broke the silence. I had forgotten I had left the TV on. A shaken newswoman, her voice breaking, was telling the world what we knew.

By then, the long empty screen was filled with angry green dots. My eyes must have been wide, but I could still focus enough to notice some of those green dots, and the deliverers of horror they represented were passing over This FN Place.

Barnes and I looked at each other, both of us having the same idea at that terrible moment of realization. We both rushed outside, forgetting the cold, forgetting it had been months since either of us had left. We saw for ourselves what those green dots had meant. We saw the streaks of fire as they passed over our heads. Barnes looked to the horizon, watching each of the oncoming missiles. I knew what he was doing; he was studying their trajectories, trying to figure out which one was meant for us.

He pointed to one. My stomach dropped as I searched for the one he meant. I saw it, bright as the hell it would cause, coming straight towards me like a freight train.

“It’ll be close,” Barnes said.

I hadn’t prayed since my father’s funeral, but at that moment I prayed. Not for salvation, at first, I deserved to die, I supposed. Instead I prayed for forgiveness, for whatever I had done wrong.

But then, as the moments passed, and death creeped closer, I decided the high road wasn’t the one I had ever travelled on anyways, and so I began to pray, beg even to be spared. Not for some better purpose in life...but just because I didn’t want to die.

Perhaps the prayer worked, for as the missile kept coming, it began to veer away from the spot I stood, ever so slightly, a few inches every second. Barnes and I watched as it flew passed us, so close I could read the markings on the side, so close I could feel the heat from the rocket engines that propelled it.

That rocket was not the one that would kill me, but it would claim the lives of so many more. I watched, my relief turning to horror as it continued on a journey that ended in Nowhere. That distant city, the one we had loved and loathed for all it represented, would die in the fiery carnage of nuclear destruction.

I watched as the mushroom cloud rose above Nowhere, and I realized thousands of people, men, women, and children had died as well. And I realized that thousands of cities, and millions of people were all dying that night.

I felt Barnes beside me, felt his arms around me. This time, his desire to hold me didn’t come from lust, but rather to provide comfort. And I realized he probably needed it as much as I did. I turned to him and held him as he held me. We were all the other had in this world, and suddenly This FN Place was the only home we would ever know again.

Poll Results

2009-10-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

This week is easy...it was a five-way tie with all choices getting a big goose-egg! Hope this week's poll is a little easier to decide how to vote on.

NOTE: There are now TWO polls for you to vote on. If you don't care one way or the other about baseball, scroll down and voice your opinion on your plans for this Thanksgiving weekend.

Poll Results

2009-09-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

Results from the last poll:

What would you like to see more of on this blog?

Wrestling recaps: 0
Excerpts from John's Unpublished Manuscripts: 0
Essays on Topical Topics: 1
Updates on What's John's Been Up to: 2
Movie/Book/Music Reviews: 0
Nothing...I should close this blog down and let people get on with their lives: 0

Well, nice to see the final option wasn't the huge favourite. In keeping with listening to my readers, from now on, I will post essays on what I've been up to lately.

Actually, expect a couple of essays in the near future as I've almost completed one on Gay Marriage and Religion and have one semi-brainstormed on "Why I Hate Facebook".

John's Must List

2009-09-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

I'm stealing this post idea from Entertainment Weekly. (Check out this week's issue with Pam and Jim on the cover. I picked mine up in Ajax and found the Office 2010 16-month wall calendar to score.)

Each issue of EW has "The Must List: The Top 10 Things We Love This Week". The title is pretty self-explanatory. It's 10 Pop Culture-related things that the magazine staff is into on any given week. Not that this will become a regular thing, but I figured I'd toss one up here as my latest blog entry.

(In no particular order)

1. The Office - Of course, this will probably always be on such a list. With the sixth season underway, it's nice to have something to look forward to on Thursday nights. On October 8th, the episode, Niagara Falls, will see Pam and Jim get married in a special one-hour episode.

2. Generation A by Douglas Coupland - I haven't actually picked this book up, and probably won't for the next while, but I say it at Chapters and will put it on my "Future To Get List". I would list Coupland among my favourite authors, even though he is often hit-or-miss with me. I either devour his books (Microserfs) or I just kinda pick my way through them. But no matter which category they are in, I enjoy them.

3. Hitler's War by Harry Turtledove - Speaking of authors whose book I usually devour, the master of alternate history is back with a new twist on our past. I got this as a Shelf Life offering and while I usually read them in order in which I receive them, the lure of a Turtledove offering was enought to jump ahead a bit. In this novel, World War II starts over Czechoslavakia in 1938. Poland sides with Hitler; there's no Pact of Steel with Russia and Japan and Russia go to war, leaving the U.S. (so far) neutral. As with all of Turtledove's novels, the story is told from several points of view from all angles of the conflict.

4. Judaism - I know this isn't exactly a pop culture item and no, I'm not thinking of converting (well, not seriously) but I've read several WWII novels about how the Jews remained so calm before the aggressive thuggery of the Nazis and I admire how they took the abuse without losing their cool. It's less an alteration of my faith and more just a research project.

5. Playoff Baseball - It hasn't really started yet, with a few games left to play, but as the regular season winds down, baseball fans gear up for the playoffs. And even without the Jays involved, I still love being able to follow meaningful baseball every day, as 8 becomes 4 and 4 becomes 2, of which only one can claim the Championship. Whether it's watching the games themselves or checking the scores on the Net, it's fun to see who's winning and who's about to start their golf season.

P.S. I'll try and post some of the photos when Lyz De Marco and I went to the Jays - Mariners game last Saturday. The Jays came back to win 5-4 with an Adam Lind walk-off home run in the 10th inning. Check out my Facebook page in the next couple of days.

6. Monday Night TV - Use to be Monday nights meant one thing: Raw! Once 9:00 came, all other shows ceased and pro wrestling became the main attraction on my TV. It didn't matter what else was on, I wasn't going to be able to watch it. However, over the last few months that has changed. Maybe it's because I'm getting into the sitcoms that air on Monday Nights or perhaps it's because wrestling is losing something, I find myself more inclined to get excited about How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory, all three of which are good shows I find myself enjoying (especially Big Bang and HIMYM). Not that I totally miss Raw, but I tend to tune in after Big Bang is over.

7. If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback - Not much to tell here, just that it's been in heavy rotation on my iPod as of late.

8. Mark Martin is leading the Spring Cup Chase: Yeah, I like wrestling and I like NASCAR...deal with it. My Dad likes NASCAR and he's rooting for 50 year old Mark Martin to finally win the Big One, so that makes Martin the Milner Family Favourite. (Although confidentially, I wouldn't mind seeing Tony Stewart win...and I'm beginning to like Ryan Newman, but only because his car bears a vague resemblance to the late Dale Earnhardt's!)

9. Zombieland - There's something about apocolyptic/disaster movies that I really perversely enjoy. I'm really looking forward to 2012 (the movie, not so much the year persay) and am tempted to organize a Fun Night outing to go see Zombieland. My only concern is, like Dawn of the Dead, I'll get emotionally invested in the main characters and they'll all die at the end.

10. Country Boy by Johnny Cash - One of things that's getting Zombieland over with me is the music they use in the trailer. Not so much the Van Halen song, but this remix of an old Johnny Cash tune "Country Boy", which is apparently available on an album of similar remixes of Cash tunes. Anyways, I'm usually not into dance tunes, but this one is kinda cool. I'll leave you with the the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_177kYL1coY

Most Annoying Poll Results

2009-09-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Rather than leave the poll results up in the sidebar (instead of launching an entirely new poll), I decided to reveal the results here:

The question was "What is the most annoying thing John will talk about on his blog?" and I had three votes. Two for "His To-Do List" and one for "The Horrors of Working Retail".

Not exactly a great response. There's a new poll, so please vote. It's pretty much the only way I'll know if anyone's reading this blog.

I suppose you could drop me an e-mail and say "Hey John, cool blog. I agree/disagree and here's why!" Or you could type something up in the comments section!

No matter how you send me feedback, the more I get, the more I'll be tempted to keep making entries.

The Office - Gossip

2009-09-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

The gang in Scranton are back on the airwaves...

No, the staff at the General Dynamics Ordnance and Tactical Systems didn't get their own show...but how cool is it that I work for a company that has an outpost in Scranton. Actually, I think my interest in the show (already piqued) would even be increased if Dunder Mifflin sold their Scranton branch to General Dynamics.

(Come on, you couldn't see the gritted teeth of Dwight Schrute as he determinedly drove a Stryker? Although that division wouldn't actually build vehicles - still, cool mental visual. In the words of Kevin Malone: "It would be AWESOME!")

But I digress (that happens around here...get used to it!)...

The season premiere of the Office, entitled "Gossip" aired this past Thursday and upon first viewing, I have to give it a thumbs in the middle. As an episode, it was okay, but as a Season Premiere, I expected something more.).

There's probably something to be said for the fact that, save the official announcement that Pam and Jim are expecting, the rest of the episode seemed as if the show was already in mid-season form. Michael was creating havoc and the rest of the Office was basically reacting to it.

In a way, Season 6 starts a lot like seasons 4 and 5 did, with Pam and Jim hoarding a secret that should have perhaps been played out throught the first third (or quarter) of the season, and instead gets exposed before the first episode ends.

In Season 4, we found out they were dating (the "we're trying to hide it" lasted until halfway though the first episode) and the rest of the Office knew an episode later. (Just as an aside, I really think they missed a golden comedic opportunity here. Kevin was gold in his frustrated attempts to discover the truth about Pam and Jim's relationship. I think they could have expanded that over the course of three or four episodes, or even just one full episode devoted to that storyline.)

In Season 5, Jim popped the question to Pam at the end of the first episode (after a missed opportunity in the Season 4 finale) and the rest of the cast knew by the second. Admittedly, I don't think there was as much opportunity to keep the "secret" storyline going with the engagement as there was with the dating.

Still, the fact that Michael's rumour-mongering (is that a word? Well, it is now!) led them to make the announcement this soon just seemed...I don't know, kinda flat. Maybe it's because the discovery of Pam's pregnancy was done so well in the Season 5 finale, it was hard to make the official announcement to Dunder Mifflin quite as dramatic and heart-warming.

The more I think on it, perhaps the reason the announcement went so flat is because it was just kinda blurted out amid Andy's questioning his sexuality and the news that Stanley was having an affair. (Oh, and Oscar denying he is the voice of the Taco Bell dog.)

And maybe it's the latter (Stanley, not Oscar) that really soured me a little bit on this episode. It just seemed so out of character for Stanley that at first, I assumed his admission of guilt was really just an attempt to work Michael.

When Michael first confronts Stanley about the affair, my first thought was Stanley was just so flabberghasted at the absurdity of the accusation, he figures he might as well play along and see how much of an idiot Michael can become. Like Stanley is just so tired of Michael's antics that he would get some perverse joy out of setting his boss up like that.

I figured the payoff would be for Michael to make some big announcement, Stanley to reveal it was all a sham and for Michael to feel bad about spreading and believing gossip. If Michael did call Stanley on the lie, Stanley would be say words to the effect of...

"Do I look like the kind of man who would cheat on his wife of 12 years? What kind of person do you think I am?"

However, the writers went another way. To me, it's just out of character for Stanley. (Although in a previous episode, they did reveal he was on his second wife.) And it's a storyline I hope they never speak of again. Put Stanley back in his beloved position of being the Eeyore of the Office, coming into work, doing his job, filling out a crossword during meetings and basically not wanting to get involved in the shenanigans of the Office.

(Okay, I know Eeyore did none of those things, but you get the comparison, right?...

Right?

Oh come on...right?)

So again, as a stand-alone episode, Gossip wasn't bad (save the previously ranted upon Stanley storyline) but save the Pam pregnancy angle, I didn't come across any minor storylines that would continue throughout the season...unless Andy continues to wonder if he's gay. Again, there's something to be said for subtlety in a Season Premiere, a kind of shout-out to the fact the Office doesn't need a major stunt to get people to tune in and get back in the habit of watching the show, but still...

What happened between Dwight and Angela?

Is Andy still crushing on Erin, the new receptionist?

Is the on-again, off-again romance between Kelly and Ryan still off?

Are Kevin, Meredith, Creed, Oscar, Toby and Phyllis up to anything? (I personally liked the Seaon 5 season opener where we noticed that these people still have lives over the summer months.)

While there's an entire season to be had, it might be nice to let people know this isn't just the Michael Scott show.

Still...it's the Office, so it's kinda like nitpicking. It's like watching Wrestlemania III and b!tching that the Orton/Muraco vs. Can-Am Connection opening tag match wasn't Wrestlemania-worthy and should have been stuck on a Saturday Night's Main Event.

What's With the Megan Hating?

2009-09-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

There's many things I don't understand about the crazy, sometimes frustrating world we live in. I'm sure that over the course of future postings, I'll touch on a few of them...

Oh, who am I kidding? I won't simply "touch" on them. That implies I'll devote a sentence or two to them, and then move on. Instead, I'm more likely to take some inane point I want to make, and then write several hundred more words on the topic than any sane person could possibly give a crap about.

Today is one of those days.

There seems to be a lot of backlash against the actress Megan Fox, and I'm not sure why. I don't think her role in Transformers was exactly Oscar-worthy and while I'd like to see Jennifer's Body, I'm not exactly going to rush to theatres to see it. Having said that, I don't know that she's any more annoying a celebrity than any other Flavour of the Month actress that looks good in whatever she's wearing, makes a couple of films and then disappears into the woodwork.

And therefore, I'm not sure where this backlash is coming from. There's a local radio station where someone bet one of the announcers he couldn't find one good thing to say about Fox. The penalty for failing to do so was that he could no longer discuss her on air. Apparently, there was recently a media-wide one-day ban on any Megan Fox-related news stories, during which most of the media discussed the fact that there was a one-day ban on Megan Fox-related stories.

Now, while I like the idea of a media ban (even if just for one day) on any of the multitude of useless celebrities whose only claim to fame is having large breasts (or in Kim Kardashian's case, buttocks) being the vapid offspring of someone who really accomplished something, or having their own reality TV show, I'm just not sure why the media decided to single Ms. Fox out.

I mean, is Megan Fox really any more worthy of backlash than say Paris Hilton, Jon and Kate or Britney Spears? For the first year after seeing Jessica Simpson appear on the cover of magazines week in and week out, I had no idea why she was famous, save for getting divorced. Come to think of it, why IS she famous? (She was in the Dukes of Hazard remake and Employee of the Month...but does that really count as an accomplishment?)

But back to the topic at hand, after years of seeing reality TV, entertainment magazines and the Internet cram pseudo-celebrities down our throat with no real substance save the ability to lead the sheep to their TVs, why did the world of celebrity decide that Megan Fox was the breaking point?

I'm sure there are people who will say "Well, she's got a bit of an attitude" or "She's been in some crappy movies" or "She's got dumb-ass tattoos". To which I say, "what makes her different than any of the others?"

Hell, reality TV lives and dies by just how obnoxious their "stars" are. Britney Spears made "Crossroads". The entire left side of the Roc...er Dwayne Johnson's body is tattooed. And really, how many times do we have to see the on-again, off-again battle between Britney Spears and her sanity, or try to figure out what Paris Hilton's claim to fame is, save that every time she steps outside, the paparazzi cameras light up? Seriously, if she was named Paris Smith, would anyone really give a sh!t?

I'm no Megan Fox fan, but I don't think she's the worse excuse for a celebrity in the 21st century.

What I Learned From the Rock

2009-09-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

There's an old adage: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

There's another old adage "Good guys finish last."

Some may consider both to be meaningless cliches. I believe both can be proven factual by the early career of Dwayne Johnson.

In 2009, most people know Dwayne Johnson as a movie star, albeit one whose promising career seems to have bogged down by appearances in such "family-friendly" dreck as the Game Plan and Return to Witch Mountain.

Still, there are many who believe Dwayne Johnson has the ability to become a major player in Hollywood, a combination of Tom Cruise with muscles or Arnold Schwarzenegger without the accent, as evidenced in Walking Tall or Gridiron Gang.

Of course, Dwayne Johnson had a career previous to his stint as an actor. Most people know that he was once referred to as Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, a shout-out to his career in professional wrestling when he gained fame and many a WWE title as "the Rock".

During the late 1990s and early 2000s, the Rock was, in his own words, "the most electrifying man in sports entertainment."

But while most people remember the 2009 actor version of Dwayne Johnson to the 1999-2002 wrestler version of the Rock...I remember 1996.

I remember Rocky Maivia.

At the 1996 Survivor Series, a young Rocky Maivia, the son of former WWE Tag Team Champion Rocky "Soulman" Johnson and the grandson of "High Chief" Peter Maivia made his official WWE debut.

Maivia was coming out of Memphis, not much more than a couple of dark match bouts and a pair of USWA Tag Team title reigns on his resume. In Memphis, he'd been saddled with the name of Flex Kavana, teaming with ring vet Bart Sawyer (another young wrestler with a famous name).

Maivia was booked as a clean-cut babyface, a next generation Bob Backlund, at a time when a gimmick like that was about five, six years too late. By 1996, Vince McMahon's WWE was finally realizing what Paul Heyman and ECW had a couple of years prior: the fans had changed. They were a bit more jaded, they didn't want to cheer for the good guys. Heyman himself likened it to how Nirvana and grunge had claimed rock and roll from the hair bands of the 80s.

Maivia was like Rick Astley walking into CBGBs. By early 1997, even a blind man could see it. The future movie star couldn't get over to save his life. When he battled blue-blooded heel Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Triple H) for the Intercontinental title, the fans booed Maivia...the face!

Feuds against heels he should have been able to use to get over (the Sultan, Savio Vega) only solidified the fans' dislike for the young Rocky. To this day, the chants of "Die! Rocky! Die!" are still remembered by those who witnessed them.

By the time Maivia lost the title to Owen Hart, the future looked bleak for the third-generation superstar who'd been touted as a "Blue Chipper". In 2009, many fans would have rushed to the nearest wrestling message board to discuss how long Maivia would be "Future Endeavoured".

Instead, something happened.

The Rocky Maivia that returned in August 1997 was not the clean cut good guy the fans had loathed so. Somewhere along the line Rocky Maivia disappeared altogether. In his place was a smart-mouthed heel that referred to himself in the third person. The Rock, as he came to be known, joined and then seized control of the Nation of Domination. The Rock would make his disdain for the fans evident, even as he proclaimed himself "The People's Champion".

And somewhere along the line, things started to click. The Rock soon raised eyebrows, most notably his own. Crafting a persona that mixed a multitude of catchprases with substantial in-ring ability, by November 1998, the Rock had taken that walk down Know-Your-Role Boulevard, Hung That Right on Jabroni Drive. But instead of checking himself into the Smackdown Hotel, the Rock found himself in the main event and was on the verge of being the biggest face in the company.

Aligning himself with Vince McMahon and becoming the "Corporate Champion" did little to derail the Rock's rise to the top of his industry. By then, the WWE and professional wrestling smelled what the Rock was cookin' and Rocky Maivia was just a faint memory.