Wrestlemania Predictions

One week from today, all eyes in the professional wrestling...oops, I mean, "Sports Entertainment" world will be centered on Arizona, as World Wrestling Entertainment. After a lengthy Wrestlemania FanFest event, and other wrestling events in the area (I think Ring of Honor is putting on a show there, but don't quote me on that), the biggest wrestling...er, I mean Sports Entertainment...show of 2010 will take place, as WWE presents Wrestlemania XXVI.

And with the card pretty much set, although I've heard rumours of a 10th participant in the Money in the Bank match and I have to assume there'll be a Divas match, here are my picks for Wrestlemania XXVI.

World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. Edge - Brilliant move to put these two together. Not only is there a history between them (Jericho basically buried Edge after his injury cost them the WWE Tag belts) but they both have the ability to cut amazing promos. I say Jericho retains because as great as Edge is on the mic, he's too injury prone to be trusted with the World title.

WWE Champion Batista vs. John Cena - Now this is the match that Wrestlemanias are made of. Two of the top guys in WWE colliding. I mean, you could like this to Wrestlemania III when "the irresistable force met the immovable object", save that Batista (who I have to like to Andre) is probably in better shape than the Giant was at Wrestlemania III. Cena is Hogan-like in that, much like Batista said, the WWE is pretty much built around him merchandise-wise but yet does have his detractors. Much like Hogan-Andre, you expect Cena to win, but there's enough of a chance (probably moreso here) that the heel will win. I still pick Cena.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio - This kinda has the feel of "Well, we need to get them on the card somehow" but the WWE started the program early enough that they were able to put some build into it (Punk and Mysterio interferring in each other's matches, Punk attacking Rey in front of his family). With the stipulation of "Rey has to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses", I'm picking Punk to win to continue the feud rather than this being the blow-off. It might have worked better if they'd started it in late 2009, had Rey forced to join at the Rumble, and then the blow-off where Rey wins and leaves Punk's group here at Mania.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels - HBK tries to end the streak AGAIN. Didn't Kane get two tries? How come he didn't have to put his career on the line? A lot of people b!tch about the WWE's writing staff but they brought their A-Game here. What seemed like an off-the-cuff comment at the Slammies grew into one of the top storyline in the WWE. (I would suggest HBK/Taker and Hart/McMahon are probably of higher stature than either of the title matches.) With every setback Michaels suffered, it seemed more likely we'd see DX Explodes at 'Mania. Unless they do a BS finish where there's a Double-DQ, etc, wrestling will be changed forever following their match. And I'm thinking it will be the last hurrah for the Heartbreak Kid.

Triple H vs. Sheamus - Remember what I said about Mysterio and Punk...well, the "put these two together to get them on the card" feel is doubled here, and unlike Mysterio/Punk, they didn't even get much of a build-up. I've heard Sheamus has raised his game in terms of promos, but I think the suprise push of late last year is over. Triple H wins in a glorified squash.

Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon - You know, there are many staples of Wrestlemania...the Heavyweight Championship Matches, the Money In the Bank Matches, the Undertaker's Streak Match...and the Vince McMahon Tries to Prove He's A Wrestler Match. Sadly, the only McMahon with any wrestling ability is Shane, who was in the Middle East at last report. While Bret Hart might have been the greatest worker in the business back in the 90s, time, ring rust, a concussion and ...oh yeah... a STROKE...has put him largely out of commission. So you've got a non-wrestler pitted against a former wrestler. The heat for this match will be tremendous; the actual wrestling will be horrendous. I suggest Bret wins with the sharpshooter after about 5-7 minutes of garbage wrestling, interspersed with the odd punch and kick session. Again, the crowd will go nuts, but don't expect Steamboat-Flair.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Okay, so we've got lumbering bohemoth Kane, jobber Evan Bourne, mid-carders MVP, Matt Hardy (and considering he was about the only guy NOT to get a WWE Magazine cover this month, he's probably not exactly due for a push) and Shelton Benjamin, depushed newcomers Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, former ECW Champion Christian and Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre. Okay, so not exactly a field of dreams here, although Benjamin has proven he can provide the spot of the night in MITB, even if it may not translate into a victory. Since it took McIntyre several tries and the dealings of Mr. McMahon to get him into the match, I'm guessing he snags the briefcase.

Unified Tag Team Champion Big Show & The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth - I know I read it somewhere else but who did the Hart Dynasty p!ss off not to be in this spot. I mean, I know Show and Miz are heels but really, the makeshift team of Morrison and R-Truth...and this was the only way Morrison, he of the "let's give him his own DVD" ideaology could get on the show? Before I continue, how hot is the Miz right now. Yes, Punk has been called the best heel in the industry right now, but give Miz a Top 3 or 5 spot, and really from out of nowhere! I don't even think he needs the two belts, just the U.S. title and a microphone and he's golden. If anything, I'm guessing Morrison turns on R-Truth and that's the fued they use to establish Morrison as a top heel. No matter, Big Show and Miz retain.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes (Triple Threat Match) - Another feud that has been months in the making, although I don't see it as being as much of a heat-producing program as one might think. (I blame the fact that Dibiase and Rhodes were never really seen as much more than muscle for Orton.) I'm guessing Orton is the face here, but even if Rhodes and Dibiase work together to double-team Orton, the heel heat on them won't amount to much, since the thought process is "We don't like you telling us what to do" and Orton hasn't done a lot to be the face. Maybe it's supposed to be heel vs. heel vs. heel, in which case, it's kind of a unique idea. Orton wins, Rhodes and Dibiase remain a heel team, since WWE needs all the tag teams, face or heel it can get.

Not sure how many of you are still reading this but I just posted an excerpt from my someday-to-be-published book When Wrestling Was Golden: A Fan's Remembrance of Pro Wrestling 1985-1990 over on my wrestling blog. Check it out here.

And speaking of wrestling-related topics, I recently read Andre the Giant: A Legendary Life by Michael Krugman, and I have to say I wasn't all that impressed with it. It starts out pretty well, but most of the book is devoted to his WWE days in the mid-to-late 1980s. Not that there's anything wrong with that, since most old-school WWE fans remember him from Wrestlemania III, etc. And even though it's a WWE-produced book, it's not afraid to break kayfabe here and there. The problem is that, after skimming through his life and career prior to that (of the 344-page book, coverage of Wrestlemania I starts on page 94), the book ends up being less something Krugman wrote and more something he just edited together using recaps of matches, interview segments and WWE programs, with the odd interview from people like Tim White, Ted Dibiase, and Vince McMahon (who basically buries Hulk Hogan at one point). I'd suggest if you want a quick read full of nostalgia, this probably is the book for you. But you could probably learn more real facts about Andre the Giant from reading his Wikipedia article.