The Payoff Pitch

Sorry...baseball reference there, and hey, how about them Blue Jays?

Don't worry, non-sports fans, this isn't my essay on Toronto's chances this season. (Although truth be known, I'd put money on the Bad News Bears - the Walther Mattheau version, not the Billy Bob Thornton version - finishing ahead of the Blue Jays in the AL East.)

About a week or so ago, I promised that I'd print one revealing fact for each vote or comment I got. As reader Tammy W pointed out, I received one of each, so I owe my loyal readers TWO truths.

First of all, I'd like to say that my latest plea for people to vote or comment (as a way to better gauge just who was reading my blog) has paid dividends, so far be it from me to not keep up my end of the bargain.

Okay...here are my two revealing truths.

(1) My middle name is Michael.

(2) I live in Canada.

Thanks for playing, gang...

...

KIDDING! I'm not going to take the easy way out. Hmm...I have to be honest, there aren't a lot of truths that I haven't already told people or that I would be comfortable revealing...but here goes...

(1) When I was working at Blockbuster, I suddenly had this epiphany that I should become a minister. Believe it or not, I actually seriously contemplated going through with it. However, eventually I realized my faith wasn't that strong. Still, there's a part of me that would like to become a minister from one of those on-line ministries. You know, you send them a cheque for 75 bucks and they make you a minister of the Church of Wilson Creek, Arkansas. The thing holding me back is the fear that when I get to the Pearly Gates, God would be like "Oh, so you figure you can just surf the Net and become one of my Messengers, huh?" I mean, I figure I have enough strikes against me without going searching for more..

Still...I am tempted...Think about it, I'd probably get invited to more weddings, and I really like the minister's outfits with the collar on them.

(2)I have a serious crush on a good friend of mine, who I consider the most attractive woman I know. She and I have quite a few things in common but there are so many reasons why she and I would never work out (none of which are her fault) that I don't think I would never have the guts to reveal my feelings for her.

That's not to say I haven't fantasized about the truth coming out, but unless she brings it up, I'm not going to start that conversation. (I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but losing one really good friend because of something I said with regards to that, is enough for me.)